Feb 27 - Calling Out To God

Save me, O God, by your Name; *
in your might, defend my cause.
Here my prayer, O God; *
Give ear to the words of my mouth.
Psalm 54:1-2

Thus the members will always be ready to arise without delay...
Benedict's Rule 22:6 (Chittister, Pg. 140)

Personal modesty, simplicity, readiness, and encouragement in life may well be staples of community living, of family life, or decent society even today.
Chittister, Pg 141

I woke up early today and started my day early. Feeling good, empowered in life and work, why worry about God saving me? I don't feel the need to be saved... But I didn't post a blog entry yesterday, I have not gone to my self-help support group since the beginning of the month, I was so happy choir rehearsal was canceled last night. Maybe I do need to call out to God after all? When was the last time I simply called to God and listened?

A Note To Readers:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.

Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Feb 25 - Just Do It

Teach me discernment and knowledge, *
for I have believed in your commandments.
Psalm 119:66

We must know that God regards our purity of heart and tears of compunction, not our many words.
Benedict's Rule 20:3 (Chittister, Pg. 132)

...not long hours spent in chapel but a lifetime lived in the Spirit of God...
Chittister, Pg. 133

My day is not in the chapel. It is among people. It is out doing the work God has for me to do. It is my letting go of what I want to do and doing what needs to be done. I am brought back to my life being a prayer. I am reminded that I am not to avoid work, not to avoid relationships, not hide in my prayer, but to be fully present doing the work that God has for me to do.

A Note To Readers:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.

Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Feb 24 - Time In The Furnace

Your throne, O God, endures for ever and ever, *
a scepter of righteousness is the scepter of your kingdom;
you love righteousness and hate iniquity.
Psalm 45:7

Let us consider, then, how we ought to sing the psalms in such a way that our minds are in harmony with our voices.
Benedict's Rule 19:7 (Chittister, Pg. 130)

Prayer ... becomes a furnace in which every act of our lives is submitted to the heat and purifying process of the smelting fire...
Chittister, Pg. 131

Do I allow myself to be submitted to the fire? Do I spend the time needed to become pure? Or do I want the quick fix, just like I want my fast-food lunch, my microwave dinner, and easy relations with family without ever having to talk about hard topics and disagreements? Smelting and purifying are not instant, nor is change. Both take time. I need to take time to sit back and think, not just move from "In" to "Out", not just snapping back when called...

May I remember that as important as I think the next five minutes are, pausing and taking my time may well bring better results.

A Note To Readers:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.

Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.

Feb 23 - Patterns and Hope

Even my best friend, whom I trusted,
who broke bread with me, *
has lifted up his heel and turned against me.
Psalm 41:9

Four psalms are sung each day at Vespers...
Benedict's Rule 18:12 (Chittister, Pg. 126)

...Benedict wants us to learn and say daily and never forget...
Chittister, Pg. 127

We are in the middle of a section of the rule most useful to monastics living in community. What do we, who are not living in full-time Benedictine communities, that do not break to pray together all seven hours every day, take from this? Sister Joan says later that we should develop a "full spiritual palate", that we need regular recitation and "total immersion" in the Psalms. We can use the Psalms to ground us in the faith. We develop a pattern of reading and praying. The pattern I use, from the daily office Lectionary in the prayer book of the Episcopal Church, reads all the Psalms in a seven week cycle. With this pattern we see each Psalm about seven times each year.

Today, for example, I read Psalms 41 and 52. I read Psalms 41 and 52 in late January (the seven week cycle was abridged as Lent interrupted the previous cycle). The verse that spoke to me today was harsher than the one that spoke to me in January. This is the cycle of Psalms in action. I don't think my life, or my point of view, is gloomier than before, just that today I recognize a different part of God's word. No friend has lifted their heel and turned against me, but by reading that verse I am reminded that even should my friends one day abandon me, I still have the Lord. God holds me even should I have no earthly friends. A prayer around this is that I remember God is with me whenever I feel abandoned.

A Note To Readers:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.

Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.

Feb 22 - Delivered and Saved Daily

My soul clings to you; *
your right hand holds me fast.
Psalm 63:8

In this way, Psalm 119 will always begin on Sunday.
Benedict's Rule 18:11 (Chittister, Pg. 125)

They repeat the same messages over and over ... every day of their lives the monastic hears the same message: God delivers us, God is our refuge, God will save us from those who seek to destroy us, God will bring us home.
Chittister, Pg. 125

Benedict repeats Psalms 120-128 daily for five days a week, using the other two days to read Psalm 119. Every week. Benedict repeats all the Psalms weekly, but Psalms 120-128 are repeated daily Tuesday through Saturday. Sister Joan points out these nine Psalms repeat that God is calling us, caring for us, bringing us home.

I don't know about others, but for me regular repetition is necessary. I don't usually get it on the first try. I need the message that God delivers us, is our refuge, that God will save us, bring us home. If I don't read this regularly, if I don't pray daily, if I don't see God reaching for me I either think I have the power to save myself, or I forget I need to be saved.

It is good to be reminded, and good to be in a community...

A Note To Readers:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.

Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.

Feb 21 - Reminded During The Good Times

Be glad, you righteous, and rejoice in the Lord; *
shout for joy, all who are true of heart.
Psalm 32:12

Each of the day hours begins with the verse, "O God, come to my assistance; O god, make haste to help me" followed by the doxology and the appropriate hymn.
Benedict's Rule 18:1 (Chittister, Pg. 124)

...the underlying truth of life: the monastic is to remember, however powerless they may feel, that no ruler is as powerful as God
Chittister, Pg. 125

Looking back at the rest of Psalms 30 and 32, which I read for today, I notice the verse I have quoted is one of the more upbeat verses. I am not surprised, right now my life is quite positive. These past two months I haven't felt "my bones withered away" (32:3) or subject to the "tribulations of the wicked" (32:11). But that does not mean I should stop reading from the Psalms, or think those verses don't apply to me. As Benedict reminds us we need God to come to our assistance. Perhaps we need to be reminded even more during the good times.

A Note To Readers:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.

Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.

Feb 19 - Commit Your Way to the Lord

Commit your way to the Lord and put your trust in him, *
and he will bring it to pass.
Psalm 37:5

The prophet says: "Seven times a day have I praised you"
Benedict's Rule 16:1 (Chittister, Pg. 119)

The point is clear: there is to be no time, no thing, that absorbs so much that we lose contact with the God of life ... More, whatever other people worship, we are to keep our minds and hearts on God.
Chittister, Pg. 121

Seven times a day? Put my trust in God? Never lose contact with God? But I have my life to live! But, if, as in the verse from Psalms, I put my trust in God, God will bring it to pass...

It seems I am not alone here. I am not alone in needing structure and regular reminders that while it is my life I am living, I am God's. Sister Joan reminds us that Saint Benedict's prescription is "brief, simple, scriptural prayers at regular intervals, easy enough to be recited and prayed even in the workplace". I pray twice a day, isn't that enough? Do I really need to add five, or is it six more times of prayer a day? I don't have an answer. The closest I have to an answer is "commit your way to the Lord...he will bring it to pass"

A Note To Readers:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.

Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.

Feb 18 - Alleluias, Ash Wednesday, And All That

Let me hear of your loving-kindness in the morning,
for I put my trust in you; *
show me the road that I must walk,
for I lift up my soul to you.
Psalm 143:8

From the holy feast of Easter until Pentecost, "Alleluia" is always said with both the psalms and the responsories.
Benedict's Rule 15:1 (Chittister, Pg. 117)

To the Benedictine mind, life in all its long nights and weary days is something to be praised...
Chittister, Pg. 118

My days are joyful, at least recently. My life is good. I can easily say "Alleluia". But even now I still need to hear of God's loving-kindness, because even with good days I still have long nights and weary times.

Today is Ash Wednesday. We stop saying "Alleluia" until Easter. We pause and remember that not all of us are having good days, nor do those of us that are having good days have them every day. As Sister Joan quotes Saint Augustine "We are an Easter people." I cannot forget either word: "Easter", or "people" -- being a person among people I remember the hard times and know they are likely to come again. I know that by nature I sin and need to ask forgiveness. But we have Easter, and I know that forgiveness is there for the asking, that good days do come. And like Easter following Lent, or Spring following Winter, I pray that I put my trust in God, that I remember life continues on and I remember to continue offering praise even when I next have long nights and weary days.

A Note To Readers:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.

Feb 17 - Chaos Ordered, Order Transfigured

O Lord, I call to you;
my Rock, do not be deaf to my cry; *
lest, if you do not hear me,
I become like those who go down to the Pit.
Psalm 28:1

On the feasts of saints, and indeed on all solemn festivals, the Sunday order of celebrations is followed...
Benedict's Rule, 14:1 (Chittister, Pg. 116)

The lesson is that we must keep the human dimensions of the faith very much in mind and find in models from the past proof that daily chaos can be ordered and the ordinary transfigured for us, too.
Chittister, Pg. 117

Transfiguring the ordinary. In my area we had the day off for snow. A fine example of chaos being ordered. Everything has changed, yet the view out the window is wonderful. Later I will go out and clear my driveway and sidewalks. And what is ordinary is transfigured. Waking up in the morning becomes a time of discovery as we look out the window at the clean white blanket of snow over what has been a dull brown lawn...

Does the chaos of my life become ordered, are the ordered mundane moments of my life transfigured? It all depends on my attitude. If I call upon the Lord, if I enjoy the special days as they come along, if I remember I am only human, it seems that days are transfigured, that the moments become special, even when surrounded by the mundane...

A Note To Anyone Reading:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.

Feb 16 - Daily Reminders

Show me your ways, O Lord, *
and teach me your paths.
Psalm 25:3

...the celebration of Lauds and Vespers must never pass by without the prioress or abbot reciting the entire Prayer of Jesus at the end for all to hear, because thorns of contention are likely to spring up.
Benedict's Rule 13:12 (Chittister, Pg. 113)

Benedictine prayer is not an escape into a contrived or arcane life. It is prayer intended to impel us through the cold, hard realities of life in the home, life in the community, life in the world, life with people...
Chittister, Pg. 115

My life is not the "pink cloud" of ease and play and joyful wandering without care that I still so often dream of. I have chosen to take on responsibilities and to interact with people. While many days are are well filled with wonder and adventure, some days I feel trapped while other days I just wish for more. It is good to hear that I am not alone in needing to be shown and taught. Benedict knew we were subject to this and adds the Lord's Prayer at the beginning and the end of the day. Sister Joan points out how Benedict's list of Psalms said in the morning reflects this need.

I am glad to be reminded often that I am much like others, in need of teaching and pattern. In need of reminders and support. While I do not read all the Psalms each week (my pattern uses the Morning and Evening Prayer rotation in the Episcopal Prayer Book to read the Psalms in a 7 week cycle) I do well when I remember to pray the Lord's Prayer daily, remembering that I must be forgiven, and that I must forgive...

A Note To Anyone Reading:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.

Feb 15 - Tempestuous Wind

Praise the Lord from the earth, *
you sea-monsters and all deeps;
Fire and hail, snow and fog, *
tempestuous wind, doing his will;
Psalm 148:7-8

First, Psalm 67 is said without a refrain and slightly protracted as on Sunday so that everyone can be present...
Benedict's Rule 13:2 (Chittister, Pg. 111)

Lauds becomes an unending lesson in reality and faith, in accepting what life brings, sure in the knowledge that the God who loves us is with us upholding us all the way.
Chittister, Pg. 112

When I was reading the psalms this morning I was just waking up after the long, very cold, and very windy, night (the night of Feb 14-15, 2015). It was a night that started with snow and proceeded to tempestuous winds and cold, one of the coldest  nights I remember since I arrived in the Washington DC area in 1985. Cold winter nights with high winds test my patience and trust greatly. Power outages in the summer are uncomfortable. Power outages in the winter, especially on the coldest winter days, are dangerous if the power is off for long.

Add to that the house noises that are different when the wind is blowing hard and I have a prescription for testing my faith. I woke up in need of confirmation that the tempestuous winds and the snow and the fog are all part of God's creation. Then I read Sister Joan's reminder that God is upholding us all the way. Thank you for God's active hand in my life, even if I didn't get a really good night's sleep...

A Note To Anyone Reading:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.

Feb 14 - Consistency and Change

Before the mountains were brought fourth,
or the land and the earth were born, *
from age to age you are God.
Psalm 90:2

Sunday Lauds begin with Psalm 66, said straight through without a refrain.
Benedict's Rule, 12:1 (Chittister, Pg. 110)

The point is that every life needs points along the way that enable to rise above the petty daily problems...and begin again...
Chittister, Pg. 111

I need patterns in my life. I need to be willing to break and re-establish patterns in my life. For me, patterns, new patterns, and change thrive within constants. Constants like knowing that God is always with me. This is like the mountains and land -- rarely do I see mountains or hills change , but trees and plants are a different story. I liken the breaks in the patterns of my life to when my father changed the location of his garden. At one time it was down the road, the other side of our neighbor's house. Then he changed to having the garden in our yard. Having the garden was constant, the location changed.

Another constant is worship with my church community on Sunday. As a Christian, Sunday worship is a key part of my life, like the unchanging mountains. My specific patterns change, but the call to worship in my church on Sunday doesn't change, it is always there calling me, giving me a place to begin again.

A Note To Anyone Reading:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.

Feb 13 - Enjoying the Journey

Those who are planted in the house of he Lord *
shall flourish in the courts of our God;
Psalm 92:12

On Sunday the community should arise earlier for Vigils.
Benedict's Rule 11:1 (Chittister, Pg. 107)

...prayer is not to be a series of mindless mechanics in life. Prayer is the development of an attitude of mind that is concentrated and contemplative.
Chittister, Pg. 108

Sister Joan reminds us we need to take time out each week, time for "setting our sights above the daily, for restating the basics, for giving meaning to the rest of the week..." For me it is not missing the individual Sunday that hurts, it is the break in the habit that I feel. Regular prayer holds me when I do miss a Sunday and keeps me wanting to not miss a Sunday.

My prayer life, and my recent re-commitment to daily reading from the Psalms, Benedict's Rule, and Sister Joan's reflections are nurturing my participation both in my faith and in family and work. While my calling(s) remain unchanged (Spiritual development, my wife and family, my work, my church/oblate communities) I find a bit more brightness in all of them now.

As Benedict outlines, this is a school where we can develop to be more what God is calling us to be, to become more like Christ. The reward, as I keep to the basics of prayer, reading, and reflection, is I occasionally see flashes of something just beyond my reach, just beyond my view. I think finally I am beginning to let go of the frustration of not seeing "the goal" clearly and simply enjoying the journey.

A Note To Anyone Reading:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.

Feb 12 - Right Where I Am

Hallelujah!
Praise the Lord, O my soul! *
I will praise the Lord as long as I live;
I will sing praises to my God while I have my being.
Psalm 146:1

From Easter until the first of November, the winter arrangement for the number of psalms is followed. But because summer nights are shorter, the readings from the book are omitted.
Benedict's Rule, 10:1-2 (Chittister, Pg. 106)

...the message of Benedictine spirituality is a consistent one: live life normally, live life thoughtfully, live life profoundly, live life well. Never neglect and never exaggerate.
Chittister, Pg. 106

(From my journal entry on Thursday 12-Feb-2015)
I see the message here is living life. Not necessarily the life that I think I "should" have, but to live the life that I do have. I am not here to create my own world, but to be a part of the existing world, the world God has created. All the "I wishes" and "it should bes" are not what is. I can't start someplace other than right here, where I am. Even if I know the hilltop right over there provides a better view, I am not there. I start where I am so I can move to "there".

Just because I am on this path doesn't mean I am something different from myself. I am still me. I do, however, see places I want to go, and thus can move from where I am.

A Note To Anyone Reading:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.

Feb 11 - Lanterns and Prayers

Your word is a lantern to my feet *
and a light upon my path.
Psalm 119:105

And so Vigils are concluded.
Benedict's Rule 9:11 (Chittister, Pg. 104)

Prayer is not something that is done to us or on us under any  conditions. It is meant to engage us wholly -- our minds, our bodies, and our souls -- whatever its form. It is not a passive exercise. It is the work of God in us, and it demands our full attention.
Chittister, Pg. 105

With such a short quote from the rule, it is not my intent to make light of the importance of early morning prayer. While I have not (yet) been in a place where Vigils is said at 2:00 AM, I have been in a monastery where it is said at 5:00 AM. There is something profound about being in the chapel with a number of monks chanting the Psalms before light enters the windows of the chapel. While I am not usually reading Morning Prayer at 5:00 AM, or reading full Vigils I endeavor to start my day in prayer...

As I think of prayer starting before (or in the summer "with") the dawn I think of prayer engaging my whole self. Does my life become a life of prayer? Do I end the day in prayer, with the realization that my day has been constantly in prayer with God? This not how I normally feel. Yes I want this, and yes I hear and read about life being prayer. While on some days my habits and my day may approach this, I certainly question all the times I don't feel prayerful.

Regardless, I am on this path, and it is not my trying that succeeds, rather it is God, who provides the work, and the prayer, that becomes a lantern to my feet and a light on my path.

A Note To Anyone Reading:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.

Feb 10 - Extended Days

But he was so merciful that he forgave their sins and did not destroy them; *
many times he held back his anger
and did not permit his wrath to be roused.
Psalm 78:38

By sleeping until a little past the middle of the night, the community can arise with their food fully digested.
Benedict's Rule 8:2 (Chittister, Pg. 101)

We fill our lives with the mundane. They got up to pray and to study the scriptures. The filled their souls with the sacred.
Chittister, Pg. 102-103

Sister Joan also says "The difference between us and the early monastic communities is that we extend our days at the end of them. We go to bed hours after sundown... They got up hours before sunrise. The only question... is what we do with the time." Last night I came home and went to bed. Yes, it took me 45 minutes to go from opening the door to turning out the light, but to bed I went. Often I need tell myself I need to "wind down" before bed. But that is only an excuse. The real issue is my wanting to get "one more thing" done, or watch one more show, or somehow satisfy my own view of "what is best" or "what is needed".

While what I think is best should not be forgotten, occasionally I am quiet for just long enough for that little voice of reason (or is it God?) to be heard.

A Note To Anyone Reading:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.

Feb 9 - Just As We Are

Restore us, O Lord God of hosts; *
show the light of your countenance, and we shall be saved.
Psalm 80:18

The twelfth step of humility is that we always manifest humility in our bearing no less than in our hearts...
Benedict's Rule 7:62 (Chittister, Pg. 97)

...true humility is simply a measure of the self that is taken without exaggerated approval or exaggerated guilt. Humility is the ability to know ourselves as God knows us and to know that it is the little we are that is precisely our claim on God.
Chittister, Pg. 97

Seeing ourselves just as we are. How often do I want to be the "best", or think I am the "worst"? I strive for perfection, then think if I am not perfect I am not good at all. I want to be the "best" at everything, not just good at what I am doing now.  I think of all the times that I heard teachers saying "if only". "If only" I could sit still when asked instead of when I wanted to sit still (and even worse, "can't I learn to want to sit still when others think it appropriate?"), "If Only" I could get my homework done, or "If Only" I had a different body shape... "If Only" I could be something that I am not.

I am what I am, we are what we are, we are where we are at. When I stop trying to be somewhere else, stop trying to be someone else, I open myself to growth.

A Note To Anyone Reading:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.
Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.

Feb 8 - Unfold and Become

Sing to the Lord and bless his Name; *
proclaim the good news of his salvation from day to day.
Psalm 96:2

The eleventh step of humility is that we speak gently and without laughter, seriously and with becoming modesty, briefly and reasonably, but without raising our voices...
Benedict's Rule 7:60 (Chittister, Pg. 95)

Humility, Benedict teaches, treads tenderly upon the life around it. ... We don't have to dominate conversations or consume all the time or call all the attention to ourselves. There is room, humility knows, for all of us in life.
Chittister, Pg. 95

"Briefly and reasonably, without raising our voices" I like to talk. Sure, I value silence, but I like to talk. Most important I like to talk about my favorite subject, "Me". Over the years two different things have happened in my life experience: 1) I have more experiences from which I can generate a "story", and 2) I have slowly become aware that my stories are not the only stories to be heard. Do I have the confidence to simply let go of my "needs" and let others in front of me? What is this "humility" we keep reading and hearing about? Sister Joan speaks to me when she says "There is room, humility knows, for all of us in life", all we need to do is "simply unfold ourselves and become."

A Note To Anyone Reading:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.
Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.

Feb 6 - A Prayer When I Am Up To My Neck

Save me, O God, *
for the waters have risen up to my neck.

I am sinking in deep mire, *
and there is no firm ground for my feet.

I have come into deep waters, *
and the torrent washes over me.

I have grown weary with my crying;
my throat is inflamed; *
my eyes have failed from looking for my God.
Psalm 69:1-4

God, please be with me when this is how I feel. On those days, keep me safe so I get to the other side of my pain and frustration so I can again praise you and thank you.

[and here are the other two quotes I read today...]

...we control our tongues and remain silent, not speaking unless asked a question...
Benedict's Rule 7:57 (Chittister, Pg. 93)

Benedict says, over and over, listen learn, be open to the other. That is the ground of humility.
Chittister, Pg. 94

A Note To Anyone Reading:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.
Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.

Feb 5 - Moving the Stone

You strengthen me more and more; *
you enfold and comfort me,
Therefore I will praise you upon the lyre for your faithfulness, O my God; *
I will sing to you with the harp, O Holy One of Israel.
My lips will sing with joy when I play to you, *
and so will my soul, which you have redeemed.
Psalm 71:21-23

The eighth step of humility is that we do only what is endorsed by the common rule of the monastery and the example set by the prioress or abbot.
Benedict's Rule 7:55 (Chittister, Pg. 92)

It is so simple to become a law unto ourselves. The problem with it is that it leaves us little chance to be carried by others.
Chittister, Pg. 93

I don't know if this what others find, but for myself an ongoing theme of my spiritual path is remembering to get out of my own way. Could this be a theme in some other peoples lives? I expect so. Many other peoples lives? That I don't know. Regardless staying out of my own way is one of the stones on the path of my journey that I stub my toes on regularly. So how does this "common rule of the monastery" help me?

Here we visit the concept of community yet again. And again we see (or at least I see) the same answer: The family we are in, the work situation we are in, our church family, and for those of us studying and discerning the Community of Hope here at St. George's, each other. Each of these has shared expectations and goals. In each of these communities we all care for each other. And as Christians we have responsibility to care for all, regardless of community, regardless of shared expectations...

Getting back to the stone in my path of life, perhaps community is like walking down a sidewalk and stubbing our toe. We don't just leave the stone we stub our toe on in the path of others for them to trip over, we, hopefully, bend down and move the stone out of the way...

A Note To Anyone Reading:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.
Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.

Feb 4 - On Common Footing

He shall live as long as the sun and moon endure, *
from one generation to another.
Psalm 72:5

The seventh step of humility is that we not only admit with our tongues but are also convinced in our hearts that we are inferior to all and of less value, humbling ourselves...
Benedict's Rule 7:51 (Chittister, Pg. 91)

...in the seventh degree of humility Benedict wants us to realize that accepting our essential smallness and embracing it frees us from the need to lie, even to ourselves, about our frailties. More than that, it liberates us to respect, revere, and deal gently with others who have been unfortunate enough to have their own smallnesses come obscenely to light.
Chittister, Pg. 91

As I ponder being "inferior to all" it is sandpaper rubbing on the image I have of my life. I think I cannot be small and inferior, I have been promoted, I received a raise, I have this wonderful opportunity to make an important presentation....

Then I consider the other presentations in the series, or realize how much longer it took me to get the promotion that came to others so soon. Am I better? Am I worse? Sister Joan's phrase "their own smallnesses come obscenely to light" comes into focus. I know I am small (but don't want to admit it.) I know I could all too easily be the homeless person on the street next year, or  next month. I know I am just as fallible as you. (But I don't want to think about that today, I am much to busy working on really important things only I can do...)

Remembering I am lowly and worth nothing (except for what God uses me for) puts me on common footing with the rest of the world, AND reminds me I am not God.

A Note To Anyone Reading:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.
Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.

Feb 3 - In Silence My Soul Waits

For God alone my soul in silence waits; *
truly, my hope is in him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation, *
my stronghold, so that I shall not be shaken.
Psalm 62:6-7

The sixth step of humility is that we are content with the lowest and most menial treatment...
Benedict's Rule 4:49 (Chittister, Pg. 89)

If we can learn to love life where we are, in what we have, then we will have room in our souls for what life alone does not have to offer.
Chittister, Pg. 90

Today I find some of my favorite verses in the Psalms. "For God alone my soul in silence waits..." The quiet chapel at St. Mary's Monastery in Petersham Massachusetts early in the morning, just before  Vigils begins at 5:00 AM or a mountain field in Shenandoah National Park or perhaps just a quiet corner in my house. Really, any place I am able to sit quietly and let go the busyness of my day. I become aware of God all around me. Holding these times in my memory is like the rock that keeps me from being shaken, it becomes my stronghold when the world is anything but quiet,...

Again I say: "For God alone my soul in silence waits..." Come wait with me.

A Note To Anyone Reading:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.
Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.

Feb 2 - Called to Confess?

For your loving-kindness is greater than the heavens,*
and your faithfulness reaches to the clouds. Psalm 57:10

The fifth step of humility is that we do not conceal from the abbot  or prioress any sinful thoughts entering our hearts, or any wrongs committed in secret, but rather confess them humbly. Benedict’s Rule, 7:44 (Chittister, Pg. 88)

Going through the motions of religion is simply not sufficient. No, the Benedictine heart, the spiritual heart, is a heart that has exposed itself and all its weaknesses and all its pain and all its struggles to the One who has the insight, the discernment, the care to call us out of our worst selves to the heights to which we aspire. Chittister, Pg. 89

This is strong stuff. As I first read this I thought how lucky someone living in community is, they already have a superior to confess to. I, on the other hand, need to find a confessor. I trust in the need to reveal sinful thoughts. I have lived the apprehension of knowing my thoughts and knowing I am going to reveal them, and just as importantly I know the feeling of release as I have revealed these thoughts and actions. This need for confession, of revealing, is widely understood and used. Twelve-step programs devote three steps (4, 5, and 10) to this effort, a full quarter of the twelve steps in explaining the need for, and providing a process for, this activity.

While I understand the importance of this confession, and have experienced release when I have chosen to stop concealing and then confessed my thoughts and actions to a very well chosen confessor, this is not something that comes easily or naturally for me. As a sinful and sinning Christian person I am only too aware, even now, of the thoughts and actions that I need to shine a light on. I tell many of them to God on a regular basis, but that is easy. I don’t remember God asking the probing questions that help to clean out the infection of these sinful thoughts. It seems I need to sit with another live (and, as said earlier, carefully chosen) person and enter into dialog about what is going on. Only then do I have confidence that I have fully cleaned this wound, and confidence that the wound will heal. This work, then, takes trust and time.

A Note To Anyone Reading:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.
Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.