Silence or Stopping Talking Enough To Listen?

Today we read the "Silence Chapter" in Benedict's Rule: Chapter 6. In the three Translations of the the Rule I have on my desk the chapter has three different titles: RB1980 has the title "Restraint of Speech," RBParry the title "On keeping silent," and RBKardong "On Silence." To me it is not about never talking, but as Bernard Bonowitz, OCSO says in his chapter on silence in Truly Seeking God it is stopping talking long enough to hear God.

Space to listen for God is only a start. As a Benedictine Oblate I make space to listen for God, but as a spouse, parent, and technical professional I also need to listen. Not just for God but to those around me. I don't have a superior that reminds me to not speak, or calls on me when it is appropriate to speak. Nor is it easy or natural to keep quiet... I am a social being, I long for recognition, I am bold enough to think I have ideas and thoughts that others need to hear... No, not just just need to hear, there are all those times I am sure that what I have to say is the most important insight, comment, or thought on the subject.

I have found making this space for listening isn't easy, nor do I always get it right. There are times, even still, when I argue with my wife rather than listen, or when as a parent I didn't listen to my children but lashed out at them, filling all the silence with loud bluster rather than thoughtful listening, or as a worker I interrupt the conversation with my "wisdom", even for the second or third time...

When I make a bit of effort the rewards are great. Nor am I able to do it alone. The Psalmist says

Lord, teach me the way of your statutes,
and I will keep them to the end.
Grant me insight that I may keep your law,
and observe it wholeheartedly.
(Psalm 119:33-34)

 and while the ten or twenty minutes quietly sitting with the Lord and listening can be fruitful, sometimes it is another person that I trust that I listen to. At work a coach suggested I sit quietly and ask myself (and answer) four questions before I (interrupt and) make comments:

1. Why: Why is this communication needed?
2. What: What needs to be communicated? (The coach even suggested I write down a bulleted list. Yes, write it down in my notebook and make sure it is bullets not sentences or, even worse, paragraphs...)
3. How: What is the appropriate time and style for the communication?
4. Who: Does the listener even care about, or  need to hear, what I am about to say?

Without all four of the above I am just a "loud gong, a clanging cymbal"

I Pray:

Lord, I long for your precepts. I know that before I was humbled I strayed, but now I want to keep your word, I wish to respect those around me. You give me all that I have: help me to sit quietly and listen more than I speak. Help me to speak thoughtfully, honestly, and succinctly. And then to keep quiet. Thank you.

Amen

Mar 24 - Self Knowledge

My help comes from the Lord, *
the maker of heaven and earth.
Psalm 121:2

They do so until they [the abbot or prioress] give them blessing and say "Enough."
Benedict's Rule 44:10 (Chittister, Pg. 203)

This chapter forces us to ask, in an age without penances and in a culture totally given to individualism, what relationships we may be betraying by selfishness and what it would take to cure ourselves of the self-centeredness that requires the rest of the world to exist for our own convenience.
Chittister, Pg. 203

Am I the only one that sees my own self-centeredness? I expect not. But the reminder to ask the question of myself is needed. It is my experience that after being reminded that I am selfish, and noting the selfishness and self-centeredness, there is a gradual decrease in my awareness until the next reminder...

Lord help me not forget may fallibility and self-centeredness, and to keep a healthy respect for my failures. I further ask for balance in self-knowledge, that I also not forget what I do well and to your satisfaction...

A Note To Readers:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book. Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Mar 22 - Just Start Again

The Lord is my strength and my song, *
and he has become my salvation.
Psalm 118:14

Indeed nothing is to be prefered to the Opus Die.
Benedict's Rule 43:3 (Chittister, Pg. 197)

Nothing in life qualifies as an exchange for the Word of God, not good work, not a job almost finished, not an interesting conversation, not the need for privacy... Benedictine spirituality says Stop. Now. A spiritual life without regular prayer and an integrated community consciousness is pure illusion.
Chittister, Pg. 198, 199

I start back after my "day off" with this reading, a gentle reminder about the importance of prayer time. Already I am making excuses: I needed sleep, my schedule didn't allow time, I did other good things...

Enough! Let's get down to basics: I am committed, I needn't worry about if or how to continue. The answer is simple: Just take the time today to read, pray, meditate, then plan that I will continue tomorrow and the next day...

A Note To Readers:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book. Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Mar 20 - Gifts, Regardless

Incline your ear to me; *
when I call make haste to answer me,
For my days drift away like smoke, *
and my bones are hot as burning coals.
Psalm 102:2-3

Similarly, they should so regulate and arrange all matters that souls may be saved and the members may go about their activities without justifiable grumbling.
Benedict's Rule 41:5 (Chittister, Pg. 191)

It is so easy to go through life looking feverishly for special ways to find God when God is most of all to be found in doing common things with uncommon conscientiousness.
Chittister, Pg. 194

How often do I look only for the "special" rather than the realistic and common? Do I complain that the weather gets in my way, or do I look to the dark raining morning as the special and individual celebration of "Today"? What about the third, fifth, or tenth rainy morning in a row?

Can I see each encounter with the world, or people in the world, as a unique and special gift? Gifts regardless of my understanding, gifts regardless of how I feel after the encounter, gifts even when I grumble and cannot see the goodness in my day?

Lord, help me. I don't like it when I can't see joy, or when I fail and close my mind to all. Help me see your love, forgiveness, and guidance in every encounter.

A Note To Readers:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book. Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Mar 19 - Acid?

You know my reproach, my shame, and my dishonor; *
my adversaries are all in your sight.
Psalm 69:21

Above all else we admonish them to refrain from grumbling...
Benedict's Rule 40:9 (Chittister, Pg. 190)

Complaining is the acid that shrivels our own souls and the soul of the community around us as well.
Chittister, Pg. 190

Grumbling and complaining, who among us hasn't done that at times? But hearing Sister Joan describe it as "acid" is strong indeed. But what happens when constant complaints are bandied about? I certainly don't enjoy that environment. I have been in groups so filled with grumbling, and in the particular case I am thinking of, a grandiose feeling of self-worth, that group progress was squelched for several months.

Lord help me to stop my grumbling and to look for creative and helpful ways of responding.

A Note To Readers:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book. Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Mar 16 - Compassion When Overwhelmed

You rule the raging of the sea *
and still the surging of its waves.
Psalm 89:9

...but should be trusted with kindly consideration...
Benedict's Rule 37:2 (Chittister, Pg. 177)

Benedict builds compassion right into the Rule so that oppression in the name of God will not become a monastic sin.
Chittister, Pg. 178

We must have compassion and realistic expectations for the situation and time of life people are in. For example, we expect tired children to be cranky and to cry. We don't expect them to make rational adult decisions. We don't even expect fully rational decisions from ourselves and other adults when we are over tired, sick, or overextended.

We do expect ourselves, as adults in good condition, to make allowances for when we are "out of sorts", avoiding most (I would say all, but I am realistic) of the melt-downs we see in children.

I am thinking this expectation is the easy part. The "real" part happens when we keep driving ourselves, denying we have reached, or even exceeded, our normal capabilities, where we don't make allowances for being over tired, or deny we are ill, or that life is simply over taxing our capabilities. Or, perhaps even worse, when we hide behind being tired, sick, and overwhelmed to avoid responsibilities...

Balance. Again we come to balance in our own lives, and in what we expect of others.

Praise and thank you to our Lord for being with us, holding us, and keeping us through the all too many times we fail on our own.

A Note To Readers:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book. Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Feb 27 - Calling Out To God

Save me, O God, by your Name; *
in your might, defend my cause.
Here my prayer, O God; *
Give ear to the words of my mouth.
Psalm 54:1-2

Thus the members will always be ready to arise without delay...
Benedict's Rule 22:6 (Chittister, Pg. 140)

Personal modesty, simplicity, readiness, and encouragement in life may well be staples of community living, of family life, or decent society even today.
Chittister, Pg 141

I woke up early today and started my day early. Feeling good, empowered in life and work, why worry about God saving me? I don't feel the need to be saved... But I didn't post a blog entry yesterday, I have not gone to my self-help support group since the beginning of the month, I was so happy choir rehearsal was canceled last night. Maybe I do need to call out to God after all? When was the last time I simply called to God and listened?

A Note To Readers:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.

Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Feb 25 - Just Do It

Teach me discernment and knowledge, *
for I have believed in your commandments.
Psalm 119:66

We must know that God regards our purity of heart and tears of compunction, not our many words.
Benedict's Rule 20:3 (Chittister, Pg. 132)

...not long hours spent in chapel but a lifetime lived in the Spirit of God...
Chittister, Pg. 133

My day is not in the chapel. It is among people. It is out doing the work God has for me to do. It is my letting go of what I want to do and doing what needs to be done. I am brought back to my life being a prayer. I am reminded that I am not to avoid work, not to avoid relationships, not hide in my prayer, but to be fully present doing the work that God has for me to do.

A Note To Readers:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.

Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Feb 23 - Patterns and Hope

Even my best friend, whom I trusted,
who broke bread with me, *
has lifted up his heel and turned against me.
Psalm 41:9

Four psalms are sung each day at Vespers...
Benedict's Rule 18:12 (Chittister, Pg. 126)

...Benedict wants us to learn and say daily and never forget...
Chittister, Pg. 127

We are in the middle of a section of the rule most useful to monastics living in community. What do we, who are not living in full-time Benedictine communities, that do not break to pray together all seven hours every day, take from this? Sister Joan says later that we should develop a "full spiritual palate", that we need regular recitation and "total immersion" in the Psalms. We can use the Psalms to ground us in the faith. We develop a pattern of reading and praying. The pattern I use, from the daily office Lectionary in the prayer book of the Episcopal Church, reads all the Psalms in a seven week cycle. With this pattern we see each Psalm about seven times each year.

Today, for example, I read Psalms 41 and 52. I read Psalms 41 and 52 in late January (the seven week cycle was abridged as Lent interrupted the previous cycle). The verse that spoke to me today was harsher than the one that spoke to me in January. This is the cycle of Psalms in action. I don't think my life, or my point of view, is gloomier than before, just that today I recognize a different part of God's word. No friend has lifted their heel and turned against me, but by reading that verse I am reminded that even should my friends one day abandon me, I still have the Lord. God holds me even should I have no earthly friends. A prayer around this is that I remember God is with me whenever I feel abandoned.

A Note To Readers:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.

Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.

Feb 22 - Delivered and Saved Daily

My soul clings to you; *
your right hand holds me fast.
Psalm 63:8

In this way, Psalm 119 will always begin on Sunday.
Benedict's Rule 18:11 (Chittister, Pg. 125)

They repeat the same messages over and over ... every day of their lives the monastic hears the same message: God delivers us, God is our refuge, God will save us from those who seek to destroy us, God will bring us home.
Chittister, Pg. 125

Benedict repeats Psalms 120-128 daily for five days a week, using the other two days to read Psalm 119. Every week. Benedict repeats all the Psalms weekly, but Psalms 120-128 are repeated daily Tuesday through Saturday. Sister Joan points out these nine Psalms repeat that God is calling us, caring for us, bringing us home.

I don't know about others, but for me regular repetition is necessary. I don't usually get it on the first try. I need the message that God delivers us, is our refuge, that God will save us, bring us home. If I don't read this regularly, if I don't pray daily, if I don't see God reaching for me I either think I have the power to save myself, or I forget I need to be saved.

It is good to be reminded, and good to be in a community...

A Note To Readers:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.

Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.

Feb 19 - Commit Your Way to the Lord

Commit your way to the Lord and put your trust in him, *
and he will bring it to pass.
Psalm 37:5

The prophet says: "Seven times a day have I praised you"
Benedict's Rule 16:1 (Chittister, Pg. 119)

The point is clear: there is to be no time, no thing, that absorbs so much that we lose contact with the God of life ... More, whatever other people worship, we are to keep our minds and hearts on God.
Chittister, Pg. 121

Seven times a day? Put my trust in God? Never lose contact with God? But I have my life to live! But, if, as in the verse from Psalms, I put my trust in God, God will bring it to pass...

It seems I am not alone here. I am not alone in needing structure and regular reminders that while it is my life I am living, I am God's. Sister Joan reminds us that Saint Benedict's prescription is "brief, simple, scriptural prayers at regular intervals, easy enough to be recited and prayed even in the workplace". I pray twice a day, isn't that enough? Do I really need to add five, or is it six more times of prayer a day? I don't have an answer. The closest I have to an answer is "commit your way to the Lord...he will bring it to pass"

A Note To Readers:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.

Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.

Feb 16 - Daily Reminders

Show me your ways, O Lord, *
and teach me your paths.
Psalm 25:3

...the celebration of Lauds and Vespers must never pass by without the prioress or abbot reciting the entire Prayer of Jesus at the end for all to hear, because thorns of contention are likely to spring up.
Benedict's Rule 13:12 (Chittister, Pg. 113)

Benedictine prayer is not an escape into a contrived or arcane life. It is prayer intended to impel us through the cold, hard realities of life in the home, life in the community, life in the world, life with people...
Chittister, Pg. 115

My life is not the "pink cloud" of ease and play and joyful wandering without care that I still so often dream of. I have chosen to take on responsibilities and to interact with people. While many days are are well filled with wonder and adventure, some days I feel trapped while other days I just wish for more. It is good to hear that I am not alone in needing to be shown and taught. Benedict knew we were subject to this and adds the Lord's Prayer at the beginning and the end of the day. Sister Joan points out how Benedict's list of Psalms said in the morning reflects this need.

I am glad to be reminded often that I am much like others, in need of teaching and pattern. In need of reminders and support. While I do not read all the Psalms each week (my pattern uses the Morning and Evening Prayer rotation in the Episcopal Prayer Book to read the Psalms in a 7 week cycle) I do well when I remember to pray the Lord's Prayer daily, remembering that I must be forgiven, and that I must forgive...

A Note To Anyone Reading:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.

Feb 11 - Lanterns and Prayers

Your word is a lantern to my feet *
and a light upon my path.
Psalm 119:105

And so Vigils are concluded.
Benedict's Rule 9:11 (Chittister, Pg. 104)

Prayer is not something that is done to us or on us under any  conditions. It is meant to engage us wholly -- our minds, our bodies, and our souls -- whatever its form. It is not a passive exercise. It is the work of God in us, and it demands our full attention.
Chittister, Pg. 105

With such a short quote from the rule, it is not my intent to make light of the importance of early morning prayer. While I have not (yet) been in a place where Vigils is said at 2:00 AM, I have been in a monastery where it is said at 5:00 AM. There is something profound about being in the chapel with a number of monks chanting the Psalms before light enters the windows of the chapel. While I am not usually reading Morning Prayer at 5:00 AM, or reading full Vigils I endeavor to start my day in prayer...

As I think of prayer starting before (or in the summer "with") the dawn I think of prayer engaging my whole self. Does my life become a life of prayer? Do I end the day in prayer, with the realization that my day has been constantly in prayer with God? This not how I normally feel. Yes I want this, and yes I hear and read about life being prayer. While on some days my habits and my day may approach this, I certainly question all the times I don't feel prayerful.

Regardless, I am on this path, and it is not my trying that succeeds, rather it is God, who provides the work, and the prayer, that becomes a lantern to my feet and a light on my path.

A Note To Anyone Reading:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.