The Joy of Where I Am

Potomac River from the River Trail

Today I returned to Great Falls Park on the Potomac River. With the Covid-19 restrictions and staying inside it has been several months since I visited the park and tramped along the river. This morning I experienced a moment of quiet realization that this place is one of the joys of where I am. I expect that I am like many others thinking I spend a great deal of time "taking care of what needs to be taken care of." You know, work and commuting, groceries and meals, washing the clothes, national and local politics, family and friends... But this is not that. This is one of those stable places where I am called to let all that go and just spend time with God.

As Benedictines we are called to stability. Those that join monasteries and take vows have the stability of place in their monastery home, their cloister, and their garden. As an Oblate I don't live within the monastery, but I do have the stability of place and home. The trails and parks along the Potomac and the streams and canals that join the Potomac have become the garden within my extended monastery. Great Falls itself is a one of the centers in this monastery garden. Here I have taken  first hikes with my grandchildren, even before they could walk. Here I took my last hike with my beloved Uncle Father Tom. I ponder the fact I never had the chance to hike with my Dad here. Nearly thirty-five years after I arrived and thirty-four years after Dad died it is a place where I still come to terms with his death, and Death.

Here I have a stable place where God pushes forward just enough so that I stop and listen, where I can let go for a just a bit and where God is "taking care of what needs to be taken care of."

A Prayer: 

God, you are with me. Your name endures forever, Your name continues like the sun. You remain with me as the clouds and rivers come and go. May I remember I am blessed by You, as all are blessed. May I always call You blessed. 

Amen.

Great Falls with Morning Clouds

Flowing Potomac

Mather Gorge

Silence or Stopping Talking Enough To Listen?

Today we read the "Silence Chapter" in Benedict's Rule: Chapter 6. In the three Translations of the the Rule I have on my desk the chapter has three different titles: RB1980 has the title "Restraint of Speech," RBParry the title "On keeping silent," and RBKardong "On Silence." To me it is not about never talking, but as Bernard Bonowitz, OCSO says in his chapter on silence in Truly Seeking God it is stopping talking long enough to hear God.

Space to listen for God is only a start. As a Benedictine Oblate I make space to listen for God, but as a spouse, parent, and technical professional I also need to listen. Not just for God but to those around me. I don't have a superior that reminds me to not speak, or calls on me when it is appropriate to speak. Nor is it easy or natural to keep quiet... I am a social being, I long for recognition, I am bold enough to think I have ideas and thoughts that others need to hear... No, not just just need to hear, there are all those times I am sure that what I have to say is the most important insight, comment, or thought on the subject.

I have found making this space for listening isn't easy, nor do I always get it right. There are times, even still, when I argue with my wife rather than listen, or when as a parent I didn't listen to my children but lashed out at them, filling all the silence with loud bluster rather than thoughtful listening, or as a worker I interrupt the conversation with my "wisdom", even for the second or third time...

When I make a bit of effort the rewards are great. Nor am I able to do it alone. The Psalmist says

Lord, teach me the way of your statutes,
and I will keep them to the end.
Grant me insight that I may keep your law,
and observe it wholeheartedly.
(Psalm 119:33-34)

 and while the ten or twenty minutes quietly sitting with the Lord and listening can be fruitful, sometimes it is another person that I trust that I listen to. At work a coach suggested I sit quietly and ask myself (and answer) four questions before I (interrupt and) make comments:

1. Why: Why is this communication needed?
2. What: What needs to be communicated? (The coach even suggested I write down a bulleted list. Yes, write it down in my notebook and make sure it is bullets not sentences or, even worse, paragraphs...)
3. How: What is the appropriate time and style for the communication?
4. Who: Does the listener even care about, or  need to hear, what I am about to say?

Without all four of the above I am just a "loud gong, a clanging cymbal"

I Pray:

Lord, I long for your precepts. I know that before I was humbled I strayed, but now I want to keep your word, I wish to respect those around me. You give me all that I have: help me to sit quietly and listen more than I speak. Help me to speak thoughtfully, honestly, and succinctly. And then to keep quiet. Thank you.

Amen

What Type Are You?

Daily (well, nearly every day) I read from Psalms and I read the daily section of the Rule of Benedict.

 The reading today in Benedict's Rule is Chapter 1 the chapter describing the four kinds of monks: Cenobites, Anchorites, Sarabaites, and Gyrovagues. As a Benedictine oblate I am called to "Cenobitic" life, life in community. As a person learning to be honest with myself I can't help but see bits of the other three in me. As one that longs for solitude there is much of the Anchorite that feels natural, that I am drawn to. Looking at Benedict's description of the Sarabaites and Gyrovagues I see other things in my heart, things I am not pleased with (OK, often down-right frustrated with): Self-gratification, looking just at what appeals to me, my indulgence in my own will...

But my psalm reading includes Psalm 46 starting "God is for us a refuge and strength, an ever-present help in time of distress..." Psalm 46 goes on to tell us that "God is within... God will help..." and later invites us to "Come and behold the works of the Lord..." (to) "Be still and know that I am God..." We are told three times "The Lord of hosts is with us: the God of Jacob is our stronghold."

But I am human, I am questioning, I am unsure... so is my reaction the certain statement "This IS the answer I have been looking for!" or is my reaction the question "Is this the answer I have been looking for?"

Much as I do want the quick answer, I see the more honest answer is in the final verse, verse 13 of Chapter 1 of the Rule:  "Let us pass them by, then, and with the help of the Lord, proceed to draw up a plan for the strong kind, the cenobites."

Mar 28 - Joy, A Common Part of My Life

By the waters of Babylon we sat down and wept, *
when we remembered you, O Zion.
As for our harps, we hung them up *
on the trees in the mist of that land.
Psalm 137:1-2

Idleness is the enemy of the soul. Therefore the community members should have specified periods for manual labor as well as for prayerful reading.
Benedict's Rule 48:1 (Chittister, Pg. 211)

The function of the spiritual life is not to escape into the next world; it is to live well in this one.
Chittister, Pg. 211

Yes, there are times I want to escape. There are times I have wanted the joys of "the next world". It is important to be reminded of the balance of living now -- Doing work and growing spiritually right here in our world. When I hold tightly to control, try and schedule everything, and worry and put myself down for not doing everything I schedule for myself, life is difficult. When I relax, let go, and keep prayer, study, work, and recreation in balance joy becomes a common part of my life.

A Note To Readers:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book. Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Mar 27 - Immersed in Prayer and Scripture

They stare and gloat over me; *
they divide my garments among them;
they cast lots for my clothing.
Psalm 22:17

...let this be done with humility, seriousness, and reverence, and at the bidding of the prioress or abbot.
Benedict's Rule 47:4 (Chittister, Pg. 209)

...unless the group becomes more and more immersed in prayer and the Scriptures, giving them priority no matter what the pressures of the day, the group will cease to have any authenticity at all.
Chittister, Pg. 209

Reading the Psalm I think of the casting of lots for Jesus cloak as Jesus is Crucified. Can I live a life that honors Jesus' sacrifice? Do I become immersed in prayer and Scripture? Do I provide needed support as the groups I am in try and immerse the members in prayer and Scripture? Where can I do better?

A Note To Readers:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book. Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Mar 26 - Be Available Always

I do not occupy myself with great matters, *
or with things that are too hard for me.
But I still my soul and make it quiet, like a child upon its mother's breast; *
my soul is quieted within me.
Psalm 131:2-3

When the cause of sin lies hidden in the conscience, the monastic is to reveal it only to the prioress or abbot or to one of the spiritual elders...
Benedict's Rule 46:5 (Chittister, Pg. 207)

The challenge of community lies in whether we ourselves care enough about anyone else to be willing to be their light, to treat their wounds well, to protect their reputations when they try to walk with us.
Chittister, Pg. 207-208

It is not about me, it is about everyone else around me. I need engage only when asked -- be available always, but insert myself never. It is about always being available.

A Note To Readers:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book. Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Mar 23 - Failure and Growth

I will rejoice and be glad because of your mercy; *
for you have seen my affliction;
you know my distress.
Psalm 31:7

No one is to presume to eat or drink before or after the time appointed.
Benedict's Rule 43:18 (Chittister, Pg. 200)

Both community and prayer, therefore, are essential elements of Benedictine spirituality, and we may not neglect either.
Chittister, Pg. 201

As a Benedictine oblate I face struggle and imperfection in my attempts to fully participate in, live, and accept the norms and rules of the School of God's Service that I am enrolled in. How wonderful to have our Lord who fully accepts my failures and struggles, always loving me and expecting me to grow beyond each failure.

A Note To Readers:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book. Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Mar 22 - Just Start Again

The Lord is my strength and my song, *
and he has become my salvation.
Psalm 118:14

Indeed nothing is to be prefered to the Opus Die.
Benedict's Rule 43:3 (Chittister, Pg. 197)

Nothing in life qualifies as an exchange for the Word of God, not good work, not a job almost finished, not an interesting conversation, not the need for privacy... Benedictine spirituality says Stop. Now. A spiritual life without regular prayer and an integrated community consciousness is pure illusion.
Chittister, Pg. 198, 199

I start back after my "day off" with this reading, a gentle reminder about the importance of prayer time. Already I am making excuses: I needed sleep, my schedule didn't allow time, I did other good things...

Enough! Let's get down to basics: I am committed, I needn't worry about if or how to continue. The answer is simple: Just take the time today to read, pray, meditate, then plan that I will continue tomorrow and the next day...

A Note To Readers:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book. Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Mar 12 - All We Need

As the deer longs for the water-brooks, *
so longs my soul for you, O God.
Psalm 42:1

First and foremost, there must be no word or sign of the evil of grumbling...
Benedict's Rule 34:6 (Chittister, Pg. 168)

Destitution and deprivation are not monastic virtues.
Chittister, Pg. 168

I was traveling yesterday, up early and on the road, so I skipped the chapter in the Rule of Benedict on private ownership. In that chapter Benedict describes how in Benedictine communities there is no private ownership, all property is owned by the community. This community ownership, rather than personal ownership, is the context of the reading today. Monastics are to be provided what is needed, they are not to be destitute, nor are they to grumble about this.

This is another one of the areas where Benedict's rule, at first reading, may not seem all that relevant to those of us that are not living in full-time monastic communities. But on second thought this can be quite useful. If we hope to live a life that approaches, even a bit, the life of Jesus, it seems we must recognize that God is truly the owner of all, regardless what the deeds and titles say, and we must look to God for all we need...

A Note To Readers:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book. Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Mar 7 - To Heal Not To Destroy

Do not toss your horns so high, *
nor speak with a proud neck.
Psalm 75:5

Every age and level of understanding should receive appropriate treatment.
Benedict's Rule, 30:1 (Chittister, Pg. 156)

...Benedictine punishment is always meant to heal, never to destroy; to cure, not to crush.
Chittister, Pg. 157

To heal, not destroy... While my roles may include helping others to identify faults, I cannot forget I have faults as well. It doesn't matter my anger or my frustration, my role is to build through respect, not belittle through frustration or anger.

A Note To Readers:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Feb 22 - Delivered and Saved Daily

My soul clings to you; *
your right hand holds me fast.
Psalm 63:8

In this way, Psalm 119 will always begin on Sunday.
Benedict's Rule 18:11 (Chittister, Pg. 125)

They repeat the same messages over and over ... every day of their lives the monastic hears the same message: God delivers us, God is our refuge, God will save us from those who seek to destroy us, God will bring us home.
Chittister, Pg. 125

Benedict repeats Psalms 120-128 daily for five days a week, using the other two days to read Psalm 119. Every week. Benedict repeats all the Psalms weekly, but Psalms 120-128 are repeated daily Tuesday through Saturday. Sister Joan points out these nine Psalms repeat that God is calling us, caring for us, bringing us home.

I don't know about others, but for me regular repetition is necessary. I don't usually get it on the first try. I need the message that God delivers us, is our refuge, that God will save us, bring us home. If I don't read this regularly, if I don't pray daily, if I don't see God reaching for me I either think I have the power to save myself, or I forget I need to be saved.

It is good to be reminded, and good to be in a community...

A Note To Readers:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.

Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.

Feb 17 - Chaos Ordered, Order Transfigured

O Lord, I call to you;
my Rock, do not be deaf to my cry; *
lest, if you do not hear me,
I become like those who go down to the Pit.
Psalm 28:1

On the feasts of saints, and indeed on all solemn festivals, the Sunday order of celebrations is followed...
Benedict's Rule, 14:1 (Chittister, Pg. 116)

The lesson is that we must keep the human dimensions of the faith very much in mind and find in models from the past proof that daily chaos can be ordered and the ordinary transfigured for us, too.
Chittister, Pg. 117

Transfiguring the ordinary. In my area we had the day off for snow. A fine example of chaos being ordered. Everything has changed, yet the view out the window is wonderful. Later I will go out and clear my driveway and sidewalks. And what is ordinary is transfigured. Waking up in the morning becomes a time of discovery as we look out the window at the clean white blanket of snow over what has been a dull brown lawn...

Does the chaos of my life become ordered, are the ordered mundane moments of my life transfigured? It all depends on my attitude. If I call upon the Lord, if I enjoy the special days as they come along, if I remember I am only human, it seems that days are transfigured, that the moments become special, even when surrounded by the mundane...

A Note To Anyone Reading:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.

Feb 16 - Daily Reminders

Show me your ways, O Lord, *
and teach me your paths.
Psalm 25:3

...the celebration of Lauds and Vespers must never pass by without the prioress or abbot reciting the entire Prayer of Jesus at the end for all to hear, because thorns of contention are likely to spring up.
Benedict's Rule 13:12 (Chittister, Pg. 113)

Benedictine prayer is not an escape into a contrived or arcane life. It is prayer intended to impel us through the cold, hard realities of life in the home, life in the community, life in the world, life with people...
Chittister, Pg. 115

My life is not the "pink cloud" of ease and play and joyful wandering without care that I still so often dream of. I have chosen to take on responsibilities and to interact with people. While many days are are well filled with wonder and adventure, some days I feel trapped while other days I just wish for more. It is good to hear that I am not alone in needing to be shown and taught. Benedict knew we were subject to this and adds the Lord's Prayer at the beginning and the end of the day. Sister Joan points out how Benedict's list of Psalms said in the morning reflects this need.

I am glad to be reminded often that I am much like others, in need of teaching and pattern. In need of reminders and support. While I do not read all the Psalms each week (my pattern uses the Morning and Evening Prayer rotation in the Episcopal Prayer Book to read the Psalms in a 7 week cycle) I do well when I remember to pray the Lord's Prayer daily, remembering that I must be forgiven, and that I must forgive...

A Note To Anyone Reading:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.

Feb 13 - Enjoying the Journey

Those who are planted in the house of he Lord *
shall flourish in the courts of our God;
Psalm 92:12

On Sunday the community should arise earlier for Vigils.
Benedict's Rule 11:1 (Chittister, Pg. 107)

...prayer is not to be a series of mindless mechanics in life. Prayer is the development of an attitude of mind that is concentrated and contemplative.
Chittister, Pg. 108

Sister Joan reminds us we need to take time out each week, time for "setting our sights above the daily, for restating the basics, for giving meaning to the rest of the week..." For me it is not missing the individual Sunday that hurts, it is the break in the habit that I feel. Regular prayer holds me when I do miss a Sunday and keeps me wanting to not miss a Sunday.

My prayer life, and my recent re-commitment to daily reading from the Psalms, Benedict's Rule, and Sister Joan's reflections are nurturing my participation both in my faith and in family and work. While my calling(s) remain unchanged (Spiritual development, my wife and family, my work, my church/oblate communities) I find a bit more brightness in all of them now.

As Benedict outlines, this is a school where we can develop to be more what God is calling us to be, to become more like Christ. The reward, as I keep to the basics of prayer, reading, and reflection, is I occasionally see flashes of something just beyond my reach, just beyond my view. I think finally I am beginning to let go of the frustration of not seeing "the goal" clearly and simply enjoying the journey.

A Note To Anyone Reading:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.

Feb 8 - Unfold and Become

Sing to the Lord and bless his Name; *
proclaim the good news of his salvation from day to day.
Psalm 96:2

The eleventh step of humility is that we speak gently and without laughter, seriously and with becoming modesty, briefly and reasonably, but without raising our voices...
Benedict's Rule 7:60 (Chittister, Pg. 95)

Humility, Benedict teaches, treads tenderly upon the life around it. ... We don't have to dominate conversations or consume all the time or call all the attention to ourselves. There is room, humility knows, for all of us in life.
Chittister, Pg. 95

"Briefly and reasonably, without raising our voices" I like to talk. Sure, I value silence, but I like to talk. Most important I like to talk about my favorite subject, "Me". Over the years two different things have happened in my life experience: 1) I have more experiences from which I can generate a "story", and 2) I have slowly become aware that my stories are not the only stories to be heard. Do I have the confidence to simply let go of my "needs" and let others in front of me? What is this "humility" we keep reading and hearing about? Sister Joan speaks to me when she says "There is room, humility knows, for all of us in life", all we need to do is "simply unfold ourselves and become."

A Note To Anyone Reading:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.
Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.

Jan 25 - Just As I Am

O God, you are my God; eagerly I seek you; *
my soul thirsts for you, my flesh faints for you,
as in a barren and dry land where there is no water.
Psalm 63:1

Sisters and Brothers, divine Scripture calls to us saying: "Whoever exalt themselves shall be humbled, and whoever humble themselves shall be exalted."
Benedict's Rule 7:1 (Chittister, Pg. 76)

The goals and values of the spiritual life, in other words, are just plain different from the goals and values we've been taught by the world around us.
Chittister, Pg. 78

As mentioned by Sister Joan, I have spent much of my life confusing "humility" with "humiliation". I may have been taught the difference at one time, but I promptly forgot. I live in a world that tells me I can do anything I put my mind to. This makes me think of my teachers that said "Seton, you have so much potential". The mostly unsaid corollary statements usually included "if only you would do your homework", or "if only you would pay attention in class", or "if only you would not daydream..." It has taken quite a number of adult years for me to realize that while I could have done many things, I can't do all things. This became easier when I finally took stock of my place in life and realized I can't do everything. There just isn't time.

Ten years ago or so at forty-something I finally gave up the dream of being a great professional mountaineer and wilderness explorer. That came as a great relief in many ways. I no longer worry about the "what ifs" and "could have beens". Instead I have the satisfaction of knowing I am still me. Not quite in the physical shape I might like, knowing I can choose more activity (or still less), but definitely me. I have the physical humility to know who I am physically, and the knowledge that should I choose I can make changes.

This understanding of my physical humility provides a model for spiritual and professional humility. For several years of studying Benedictine Spirituality I have struggled. Recently I find my self accepting that I am a professional with an active relationship with God. I have found the Rule of Benedict and the Benedictine traditions and patterns that come from that fit well with my life. When I can let of go of thinking I am in charge I start to realize that God is using me for His work just as I am. I have increasing flashes of understanding that I, a baptized and living believer in Christ's saving grace (even imperfectly believing), and Oblate of Saint Benedict am living the life that God asks of me. Yes, I have to let go of the thought that "I am not good enough" because I am not some label such as "ordained priest", "professed monk", "famous spiritual director", or, for that matter, "great mountain climber". I am Seton, and much to my surprise, I am pretty sure God is using my life.

OK. After three paragraphs of trying to explain it, perhaps even I am beginning to understand humility as being just who I am right now, and being willing to let God use, love, and hold me, even when I don't quite believe it all myself.

A Note To Anyone Reading:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading Ms. Chittister's book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.
Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.

Jan 24 - Silence and Talking

O Lord my God, I cried out to you, *
and you restored me to health.
Psalm 30:2

We absolutely condemn in all places any vulgarity and gossip and talk leading to laughter, and we do not permit a disciple to engage in words of that kind.
Benedict's Rule 5:8 (Chittister, Pg. 73)

The goal of monastic silence, and monastic speech, is respect for others, a sense of place, a spirit of peace. The Rule does not call for absolute silence; it calls for thoughtful talk.
Chittister, Pg. 74

Silence and Talking: I read this and know I still have a long path ahead of me. Experience shows me the results are better when I listen and share than when I simply run my ideas over everyone else. Often someone else has thoughts on the same subject. Sharing and working together we arrive at a clearer, more complete response. To do this I must be silent (at lest for a time).

This sounds great when working with others, but how does this help in my spiritual life, my becoming more the person God calls me to be? Again, I simply need to get out of my own way. I need to become quiet. To listen. Got will communicate, once in a while directly, far more often through the world around me. But, if I am busy talking, I am unlikely to hear any communication from God.

A Note To Anyone Reading:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading Ms. Chittister's book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule from the translation in this same book.
Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.

Jan 23 - You Must Want It

Be strong and let your heart take courage, *
all you who wait for the Lord.
Psalm 31:24

This very obedience, however, will be acceptable to God and agreeable to people only if compliance with what is commanded is not cringing or sluggish, or halfhearted...
Benedict's Rule 5:14 (Chittister, Pg. 71)

...you must want it.
Chittister, Pg. 72

So here I am faced, for the second day in a row, with the concept of "obedience". A word I would like to avoid at times. I find myself in a dilemma. After 23 days I am finally getting comfortable with my personal daily prayer habit: In the morning I read the psalms appointed for morning prayer from the Episcopal Church prayer book, the daily portion of the Rule of Benedict, from The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, by Sister Joan Chittister, followed by Joan Chittister's reflection on that portion of the Rule. In the evening I read the psalms appointed for evening prayer in the prayer book. To put a bit of structure in the morning I read the psalms and from Joan Chittister's book in the spirit of Lectio Divina, with my journal with me so I can pick a key passage from each portion of my reading. (And as I write this blog I start by putting down the "key passages" that struck me during my reading as the quotes for the blog.)

This provides a way to share a few thoughts, usually, as you have seen, no more than a paragraph or two. And as the activity starts in the style of Lectio there is little day-to-day connection between the different blog postings.

But today I am faced with a dilemma. The places I go, having re-instituted a habit of reading and reflection that was a part of me for a number of years before I became "too busy" over the last year, are not always the places that make sense to share at the start of a journey. Today my mind was struck both with the psalm verse I quoted above, but also with "For my life is wasted with grief / and my years with sighing" (psalm 31, verse 10). Distinctly not uplifting as we (those of us considering The Community of Hope at St. George's) wrestle to discern our call.

My dilemma illustrates exactly where I am: I want to be obedient. I desire to do what I am commanded without cringing, being sluggish, or being halfhearted. I want to paint a picture of bright acceptance of God's call in this (potential) ministry and the rest of my life. My (mini) redemption is illustrated as the psalmist says in other places in Psalm 31, not only "Have mercy on me, O Lord, for I am in trouble / my eye is consumed with sorrow" (vs. 9), but "In you, O Lord, have I taken refuge..." (vs. 1).

I will end with a Prayer:
Lord grant that I, and the others in this adventure with me, may not only glory in the wonder of accomplishment, but not shy away from our questions and misunderstanding of what you can give us. May we all grow in our comfort of Your presence so we can bring that comfort to others. Amen.

A Note To Anyone Reading:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading Ms. Chittister's book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule from the translation in this same book.
Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.

Jan 22 - Do I Really Have To Be Obedient?

Commit your way to the Lord and put your trust in him, *
and he will bring it to pass.
Psalm 37:5

Such people as these immediately put aside their own concerns, abandon their own will, and lay down whatever they have in hand, leaving it unfinished. With the ready step of obedience...
Benedict's Rule 5:7-8 (Chittister, Pg. 68)

...we put down our own concerns, allow ourselves to be led by the insights of another, treat our own best interests with a relaxed grasp. We empty ourselves out so that the presence of God can dome in, tangible and present and divinely human.
Chittister, Pg. 69

Where does this word "obedience" come from? Do I really need to be obedient? I thought I was grown up, no one has control over me... Note to self: "You get to choose your obedience, it's not like your someone is going to put you in time-out if you are disobedient..." (At least if I obey the law and don't get arrested.)  Perhaps now I can admit the need for obedience, the next question I have is "Obedient to what?" To me Sister Joan answers this with "The claims of the community we are in." But I am not a monk, so what "community" are we talking about that has claims? Sister Joan goes on to define these communities: "both old and young; in the person we married; in underlings and children; in old parents and boring in-laws". We could probably come up with quite a number of communities we are in. Then all I need do is listen for the "voice of God in the demands of community life..."

And here I am, somewhat back to the beginning. I come face-to-face with the fact that sometimes even when I hear God, I just don't want to be obedient, I want to do what I want. For this I have no answer, but the Psalm verse has a glimmer of hope: Put my trust in the Lord and he will bring it to pass...

A Note To Anyone Reading:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading Ms. Chittister's book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule from the translation in this same book.
Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.

Jan 20 - Placing My Hope In God

Test me, O Lord, and try me; *
Examine my heart and my mind.
For your love is before my eyes; *
I have walked faithfully with you.
Psalm 26:2-3

Place your hope in God alone. If you notice something good in yourself, give credit to God, not yourself, but be certain that the evil you commit is always your own and yours to acknowledge.
Benedict's Rule 4:41-43 (Chittister, Pg.61)

Whatever the motive, Benedict reminds us that the consciousness of God's presence, behind us, within us, in front of us, demands a change in heart, a change of attention from us. From now on we must think differently and tell a different truth.
Chittister, Pg. 62

Yes, examine my heart and mind. I have walked faithfully. I live this life in trust that God faithfully walks with me. My experience, though, is God is more faithfully walking with me than I am with Him. As I read the rule I see a path. I am to place my hope in God alone, not my great ideas. I let go of my schemes and listen for God's guidance.

A Note To Anyone Reading:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading Ms. Chittister's book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule from the translation in this same book.
Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.