Mar 1 - Ascending The Hill

Who can ascend the hill of the Lord? *
and who can stand in his holy place?
Psalm 24:3

There ought to be due proportion between the seriousness of the fault and the measure of excommunication or discipline.
Benedict's Rule 24:1 (Chittister, Pg. 144)

And, Benedict insinuates, once you have broken the bonds that make a community a community, a family a family, a team a team, there is no growth possible until we all face the fact.
Chittister, Pg. 145

We all, we hope, wish to ascend the hill of the Lord, we want to stand in the holy place. But our path is not always straight. We are amid eight chapters of the Rule of Benedict that discuss "punishment." In our class, as we read Benedict's rule, we are not likely to need much punishment. However, we may find we have broken a rule here and there. (Hopefully not often, but we are human, we do sin...)

These readings remind me of two things: 1) When something is broken we need to recognize the break and fix it, not let it slip by and become bigger and bigger, and 2) When we respond, we respond proportionately to the actual damage. If we recognize the break when it is small we can often resolve it and make amends quickly. Often with a simple apology and sincere change of heart.

So, let me continue to ascend the hill of the Lord, small stumbles recognized quickly are easily recovered.

A Note To Readers:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Feb 2 - Called to Confess?

For your loving-kindness is greater than the heavens,*
and your faithfulness reaches to the clouds. Psalm 57:10

The fifth step of humility is that we do not conceal from the abbot  or prioress any sinful thoughts entering our hearts, or any wrongs committed in secret, but rather confess them humbly. Benedict’s Rule, 7:44 (Chittister, Pg. 88)

Going through the motions of religion is simply not sufficient. No, the Benedictine heart, the spiritual heart, is a heart that has exposed itself and all its weaknesses and all its pain and all its struggles to the One who has the insight, the discernment, the care to call us out of our worst selves to the heights to which we aspire. Chittister, Pg. 89

This is strong stuff. As I first read this I thought how lucky someone living in community is, they already have a superior to confess to. I, on the other hand, need to find a confessor. I trust in the need to reveal sinful thoughts. I have lived the apprehension of knowing my thoughts and knowing I am going to reveal them, and just as importantly I know the feeling of release as I have revealed these thoughts and actions. This need for confession, of revealing, is widely understood and used. Twelve-step programs devote three steps (4, 5, and 10) to this effort, a full quarter of the twelve steps in explaining the need for, and providing a process for, this activity.

While I understand the importance of this confession, and have experienced release when I have chosen to stop concealing and then confessed my thoughts and actions to a very well chosen confessor, this is not something that comes easily or naturally for me. As a sinful and sinning Christian person I am only too aware, even now, of the thoughts and actions that I need to shine a light on. I tell many of them to God on a regular basis, but that is easy. I don’t remember God asking the probing questions that help to clean out the infection of these sinful thoughts. It seems I need to sit with another live (and, as said earlier, carefully chosen) person and enter into dialog about what is going on. Only then do I have confidence that I have fully cleaned this wound, and confidence that the wound will heal. This work, then, takes trust and time.

A Note To Anyone Reading:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.
Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

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