Mar 26 - Be Available Always

I do not occupy myself with great matters, *
or with things that are too hard for me.
But I still my soul and make it quiet, like a child upon its mother's breast; *
my soul is quieted within me.
Psalm 131:2-3

When the cause of sin lies hidden in the conscience, the monastic is to reveal it only to the prioress or abbot or to one of the spiritual elders...
Benedict's Rule 46:5 (Chittister, Pg. 207)

The challenge of community lies in whether we ourselves care enough about anyone else to be willing to be their light, to treat their wounds well, to protect their reputations when they try to walk with us.
Chittister, Pg. 207-208

It is not about me, it is about everyone else around me. I need engage only when asked -- be available always, but insert myself never. It is about always being available.

A Note To Readers:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book. Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Mar 19 - Acid?

You know my reproach, my shame, and my dishonor; *
my adversaries are all in your sight.
Psalm 69:21

Above all else we admonish them to refrain from grumbling...
Benedict's Rule 40:9 (Chittister, Pg. 190)

Complaining is the acid that shrivels our own souls and the soul of the community around us as well.
Chittister, Pg. 190

Grumbling and complaining, who among us hasn't done that at times? But hearing Sister Joan describe it as "acid" is strong indeed. But what happens when constant complaints are bandied about? I certainly don't enjoy that environment. I have been in groups so filled with grumbling, and in the particular case I am thinking of, a grandiose feeling of self-worth, that group progress was squelched for several months.

Lord help me to stop my grumbling and to look for creative and helpful ways of responding.

A Note To Readers:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book. Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Mar 12 - All We Need

As the deer longs for the water-brooks, *
so longs my soul for you, O God.
Psalm 42:1

First and foremost, there must be no word or sign of the evil of grumbling...
Benedict's Rule 34:6 (Chittister, Pg. 168)

Destitution and deprivation are not monastic virtues.
Chittister, Pg. 168

I was traveling yesterday, up early and on the road, so I skipped the chapter in the Rule of Benedict on private ownership. In that chapter Benedict describes how in Benedictine communities there is no private ownership, all property is owned by the community. This community ownership, rather than personal ownership, is the context of the reading today. Monastics are to be provided what is needed, they are not to be destitute, nor are they to grumble about this.

This is another one of the areas where Benedict's rule, at first reading, may not seem all that relevant to those of us that are not living in full-time monastic communities. But on second thought this can be quite useful. If we hope to live a life that approaches, even a bit, the life of Jesus, it seems we must recognize that God is truly the owner of all, regardless what the deeds and titles say, and we must look to God for all we need...

A Note To Readers:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book. Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Mar 1 - Ascending The Hill

Who can ascend the hill of the Lord? *
and who can stand in his holy place?
Psalm 24:3

There ought to be due proportion between the seriousness of the fault and the measure of excommunication or discipline.
Benedict's Rule 24:1 (Chittister, Pg. 144)

And, Benedict insinuates, once you have broken the bonds that make a community a community, a family a family, a team a team, there is no growth possible until we all face the fact.
Chittister, Pg. 145

We all, we hope, wish to ascend the hill of the Lord, we want to stand in the holy place. But our path is not always straight. We are amid eight chapters of the Rule of Benedict that discuss "punishment." In our class, as we read Benedict's rule, we are not likely to need much punishment. However, we may find we have broken a rule here and there. (Hopefully not often, but we are human, we do sin...)

These readings remind me of two things: 1) When something is broken we need to recognize the break and fix it, not let it slip by and become bigger and bigger, and 2) When we respond, we respond proportionately to the actual damage. If we recognize the break when it is small we can often resolve it and make amends quickly. Often with a simple apology and sincere change of heart.

So, let me continue to ascend the hill of the Lord, small stumbles recognized quickly are easily recovered.

A Note To Readers:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Feb 25 - Just Do It

Teach me discernment and knowledge, *
for I have believed in your commandments.
Psalm 119:66

We must know that God regards our purity of heart and tears of compunction, not our many words.
Benedict's Rule 20:3 (Chittister, Pg. 132)

...not long hours spent in chapel but a lifetime lived in the Spirit of God...
Chittister, Pg. 133

My day is not in the chapel. It is among people. It is out doing the work God has for me to do. It is my letting go of what I want to do and doing what needs to be done. I am brought back to my life being a prayer. I am reminded that I am not to avoid work, not to avoid relationships, not hide in my prayer, but to be fully present doing the work that God has for me to do.

A Note To Readers:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.

Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Feb 24 - Time In The Furnace

Your throne, O God, endures for ever and ever, *
a scepter of righteousness is the scepter of your kingdom;
you love righteousness and hate iniquity.
Psalm 45:7

Let us consider, then, how we ought to sing the psalms in such a way that our minds are in harmony with our voices.
Benedict's Rule 19:7 (Chittister, Pg. 130)

Prayer ... becomes a furnace in which every act of our lives is submitted to the heat and purifying process of the smelting fire...
Chittister, Pg. 131

Do I allow myself to be submitted to the fire? Do I spend the time needed to become pure? Or do I want the quick fix, just like I want my fast-food lunch, my microwave dinner, and easy relations with family without ever having to talk about hard topics and disagreements? Smelting and purifying are not instant, nor is change. Both take time. I need to take time to sit back and think, not just move from "In" to "Out", not just snapping back when called...

May I remember that as important as I think the next five minutes are, pausing and taking my time may well bring better results.

A Note To Readers:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.

Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.

Feb 23 - Patterns and Hope

Even my best friend, whom I trusted,
who broke bread with me, *
has lifted up his heel and turned against me.
Psalm 41:9

Four psalms are sung each day at Vespers...
Benedict's Rule 18:12 (Chittister, Pg. 126)

...Benedict wants us to learn and say daily and never forget...
Chittister, Pg. 127

We are in the middle of a section of the rule most useful to monastics living in community. What do we, who are not living in full-time Benedictine communities, that do not break to pray together all seven hours every day, take from this? Sister Joan says later that we should develop a "full spiritual palate", that we need regular recitation and "total immersion" in the Psalms. We can use the Psalms to ground us in the faith. We develop a pattern of reading and praying. The pattern I use, from the daily office Lectionary in the prayer book of the Episcopal Church, reads all the Psalms in a seven week cycle. With this pattern we see each Psalm about seven times each year.

Today, for example, I read Psalms 41 and 52. I read Psalms 41 and 52 in late January (the seven week cycle was abridged as Lent interrupted the previous cycle). The verse that spoke to me today was harsher than the one that spoke to me in January. This is the cycle of Psalms in action. I don't think my life, or my point of view, is gloomier than before, just that today I recognize a different part of God's word. No friend has lifted their heel and turned against me, but by reading that verse I am reminded that even should my friends one day abandon me, I still have the Lord. God holds me even should I have no earthly friends. A prayer around this is that I remember God is with me whenever I feel abandoned.

A Note To Readers:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.

Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.

Feb 22 - Delivered and Saved Daily

My soul clings to you; *
your right hand holds me fast.
Psalm 63:8

In this way, Psalm 119 will always begin on Sunday.
Benedict's Rule 18:11 (Chittister, Pg. 125)

They repeat the same messages over and over ... every day of their lives the monastic hears the same message: God delivers us, God is our refuge, God will save us from those who seek to destroy us, God will bring us home.
Chittister, Pg. 125

Benedict repeats Psalms 120-128 daily for five days a week, using the other two days to read Psalm 119. Every week. Benedict repeats all the Psalms weekly, but Psalms 120-128 are repeated daily Tuesday through Saturday. Sister Joan points out these nine Psalms repeat that God is calling us, caring for us, bringing us home.

I don't know about others, but for me regular repetition is necessary. I don't usually get it on the first try. I need the message that God delivers us, is our refuge, that God will save us, bring us home. If I don't read this regularly, if I don't pray daily, if I don't see God reaching for me I either think I have the power to save myself, or I forget I need to be saved.

It is good to be reminded, and good to be in a community...

A Note To Readers:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.

Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.

Feb 21 - Reminded During The Good Times

Be glad, you righteous, and rejoice in the Lord; *
shout for joy, all who are true of heart.
Psalm 32:12

Each of the day hours begins with the verse, "O God, come to my assistance; O god, make haste to help me" followed by the doxology and the appropriate hymn.
Benedict's Rule 18:1 (Chittister, Pg. 124)

...the underlying truth of life: the monastic is to remember, however powerless they may feel, that no ruler is as powerful as God
Chittister, Pg. 125

Looking back at the rest of Psalms 30 and 32, which I read for today, I notice the verse I have quoted is one of the more upbeat verses. I am not surprised, right now my life is quite positive. These past two months I haven't felt "my bones withered away" (32:3) or subject to the "tribulations of the wicked" (32:11). But that does not mean I should stop reading from the Psalms, or think those verses don't apply to me. As Benedict reminds us we need God to come to our assistance. Perhaps we need to be reminded even more during the good times.

A Note To Readers:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.

Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.

Feb 15 - Tempestuous Wind

Praise the Lord from the earth, *
you sea-monsters and all deeps;
Fire and hail, snow and fog, *
tempestuous wind, doing his will;
Psalm 148:7-8

First, Psalm 67 is said without a refrain and slightly protracted as on Sunday so that everyone can be present...
Benedict's Rule 13:2 (Chittister, Pg. 111)

Lauds becomes an unending lesson in reality and faith, in accepting what life brings, sure in the knowledge that the God who loves us is with us upholding us all the way.
Chittister, Pg. 112

When I was reading the psalms this morning I was just waking up after the long, very cold, and very windy, night (the night of Feb 14-15, 2015). It was a night that started with snow and proceeded to tempestuous winds and cold, one of the coldest  nights I remember since I arrived in the Washington DC area in 1985. Cold winter nights with high winds test my patience and trust greatly. Power outages in the summer are uncomfortable. Power outages in the winter, especially on the coldest winter days, are dangerous if the power is off for long.

Add to that the house noises that are different when the wind is blowing hard and I have a prescription for testing my faith. I woke up in need of confirmation that the tempestuous winds and the snow and the fog are all part of God's creation. Then I read Sister Joan's reminder that God is upholding us all the way. Thank you for God's active hand in my life, even if I didn't get a really good night's sleep...

A Note To Anyone Reading:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.

Feb 13 - Enjoying the Journey

Those who are planted in the house of he Lord *
shall flourish in the courts of our God;
Psalm 92:12

On Sunday the community should arise earlier for Vigils.
Benedict's Rule 11:1 (Chittister, Pg. 107)

...prayer is not to be a series of mindless mechanics in life. Prayer is the development of an attitude of mind that is concentrated and contemplative.
Chittister, Pg. 108

Sister Joan reminds us we need to take time out each week, time for "setting our sights above the daily, for restating the basics, for giving meaning to the rest of the week..." For me it is not missing the individual Sunday that hurts, it is the break in the habit that I feel. Regular prayer holds me when I do miss a Sunday and keeps me wanting to not miss a Sunday.

My prayer life, and my recent re-commitment to daily reading from the Psalms, Benedict's Rule, and Sister Joan's reflections are nurturing my participation both in my faith and in family and work. While my calling(s) remain unchanged (Spiritual development, my wife and family, my work, my church/oblate communities) I find a bit more brightness in all of them now.

As Benedict outlines, this is a school where we can develop to be more what God is calling us to be, to become more like Christ. The reward, as I keep to the basics of prayer, reading, and reflection, is I occasionally see flashes of something just beyond my reach, just beyond my view. I think finally I am beginning to let go of the frustration of not seeing "the goal" clearly and simply enjoying the journey.

A Note To Anyone Reading:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.

Feb 12 - Right Where I Am

Hallelujah!
Praise the Lord, O my soul! *
I will praise the Lord as long as I live;
I will sing praises to my God while I have my being.
Psalm 146:1

From Easter until the first of November, the winter arrangement for the number of psalms is followed. But because summer nights are shorter, the readings from the book are omitted.
Benedict's Rule, 10:1-2 (Chittister, Pg. 106)

...the message of Benedictine spirituality is a consistent one: live life normally, live life thoughtfully, live life profoundly, live life well. Never neglect and never exaggerate.
Chittister, Pg. 106

(From my journal entry on Thursday 12-Feb-2015)
I see the message here is living life. Not necessarily the life that I think I "should" have, but to live the life that I do have. I am not here to create my own world, but to be a part of the existing world, the world God has created. All the "I wishes" and "it should bes" are not what is. I can't start someplace other than right here, where I am. Even if I know the hilltop right over there provides a better view, I am not there. I start where I am so I can move to "there".

Just because I am on this path doesn't mean I am something different from myself. I am still me. I do, however, see places I want to go, and thus can move from where I am.

A Note To Anyone Reading:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.

Feb 9 - Just As We Are

Restore us, O Lord God of hosts; *
show the light of your countenance, and we shall be saved.
Psalm 80:18

The twelfth step of humility is that we always manifest humility in our bearing no less than in our hearts...
Benedict's Rule 7:62 (Chittister, Pg. 97)

...true humility is simply a measure of the self that is taken without exaggerated approval or exaggerated guilt. Humility is the ability to know ourselves as God knows us and to know that it is the little we are that is precisely our claim on God.
Chittister, Pg. 97

Seeing ourselves just as we are. How often do I want to be the "best", or think I am the "worst"? I strive for perfection, then think if I am not perfect I am not good at all. I want to be the "best" at everything, not just good at what I am doing now.  I think of all the times that I heard teachers saying "if only". "If only" I could sit still when asked instead of when I wanted to sit still (and even worse, "can't I learn to want to sit still when others think it appropriate?"), "If Only" I could get my homework done, or "If Only" I had a different body shape... "If Only" I could be something that I am not.

I am what I am, we are what we are, we are where we are at. When I stop trying to be somewhere else, stop trying to be someone else, I open myself to growth.

A Note To Anyone Reading:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.
Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.

Feb 8 - Unfold and Become

Sing to the Lord and bless his Name; *
proclaim the good news of his salvation from day to day.
Psalm 96:2

The eleventh step of humility is that we speak gently and without laughter, seriously and with becoming modesty, briefly and reasonably, but without raising our voices...
Benedict's Rule 7:60 (Chittister, Pg. 95)

Humility, Benedict teaches, treads tenderly upon the life around it. ... We don't have to dominate conversations or consume all the time or call all the attention to ourselves. There is room, humility knows, for all of us in life.
Chittister, Pg. 95

"Briefly and reasonably, without raising our voices" I like to talk. Sure, I value silence, but I like to talk. Most important I like to talk about my favorite subject, "Me". Over the years two different things have happened in my life experience: 1) I have more experiences from which I can generate a "story", and 2) I have slowly become aware that my stories are not the only stories to be heard. Do I have the confidence to simply let go of my "needs" and let others in front of me? What is this "humility" we keep reading and hearing about? Sister Joan speaks to me when she says "There is room, humility knows, for all of us in life", all we need to do is "simply unfold ourselves and become."

A Note To Anyone Reading:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.
Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.

Feb 6 - A Prayer When I Am Up To My Neck

Save me, O God, *
for the waters have risen up to my neck.

I am sinking in deep mire, *
and there is no firm ground for my feet.

I have come into deep waters, *
and the torrent washes over me.

I have grown weary with my crying;
my throat is inflamed; *
my eyes have failed from looking for my God.
Psalm 69:1-4

God, please be with me when this is how I feel. On those days, keep me safe so I get to the other side of my pain and frustration so I can again praise you and thank you.

[and here are the other two quotes I read today...]

...we control our tongues and remain silent, not speaking unless asked a question...
Benedict's Rule 7:57 (Chittister, Pg. 93)

Benedict says, over and over, listen learn, be open to the other. That is the ground of humility.
Chittister, Pg. 94

A Note To Anyone Reading:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.
Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.

Feb 4 - On Common Footing

He shall live as long as the sun and moon endure, *
from one generation to another.
Psalm 72:5

The seventh step of humility is that we not only admit with our tongues but are also convinced in our hearts that we are inferior to all and of less value, humbling ourselves...
Benedict's Rule 7:51 (Chittister, Pg. 91)

...in the seventh degree of humility Benedict wants us to realize that accepting our essential smallness and embracing it frees us from the need to lie, even to ourselves, about our frailties. More than that, it liberates us to respect, revere, and deal gently with others who have been unfortunate enough to have their own smallnesses come obscenely to light.
Chittister, Pg. 91

As I ponder being "inferior to all" it is sandpaper rubbing on the image I have of my life. I think I cannot be small and inferior, I have been promoted, I received a raise, I have this wonderful opportunity to make an important presentation....

Then I consider the other presentations in the series, or realize how much longer it took me to get the promotion that came to others so soon. Am I better? Am I worse? Sister Joan's phrase "their own smallnesses come obscenely to light" comes into focus. I know I am small (but don't want to admit it.) I know I could all too easily be the homeless person on the street next year, or  next month. I know I am just as fallible as you. (But I don't want to think about that today, I am much to busy working on really important things only I can do...)

Remembering I am lowly and worth nothing (except for what God uses me for) puts me on common footing with the rest of the world, AND reminds me I am not God.

A Note To Anyone Reading:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.
Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.

Feb 3 - In Silence My Soul Waits

For God alone my soul in silence waits; *
truly, my hope is in him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation, *
my stronghold, so that I shall not be shaken.
Psalm 62:6-7

The sixth step of humility is that we are content with the lowest and most menial treatment...
Benedict's Rule 4:49 (Chittister, Pg. 89)

If we can learn to love life where we are, in what we have, then we will have room in our souls for what life alone does not have to offer.
Chittister, Pg. 90

Today I find some of my favorite verses in the Psalms. "For God alone my soul in silence waits..." The quiet chapel at St. Mary's Monastery in Petersham Massachusetts early in the morning, just before  Vigils begins at 5:00 AM or a mountain field in Shenandoah National Park or perhaps just a quiet corner in my house. Really, any place I am able to sit quietly and let go the busyness of my day. I become aware of God all around me. Holding these times in my memory is like the rock that keeps me from being shaken, it becomes my stronghold when the world is anything but quiet,...

Again I say: "For God alone my soul in silence waits..." Come wait with me.

A Note To Anyone Reading:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.
Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.

Feb 2 - Called to Confess?

For your loving-kindness is greater than the heavens,*
and your faithfulness reaches to the clouds. Psalm 57:10

The fifth step of humility is that we do not conceal from the abbot  or prioress any sinful thoughts entering our hearts, or any wrongs committed in secret, but rather confess them humbly. Benedict’s Rule, 7:44 (Chittister, Pg. 88)

Going through the motions of religion is simply not sufficient. No, the Benedictine heart, the spiritual heart, is a heart that has exposed itself and all its weaknesses and all its pain and all its struggles to the One who has the insight, the discernment, the care to call us out of our worst selves to the heights to which we aspire. Chittister, Pg. 89

This is strong stuff. As I first read this I thought how lucky someone living in community is, they already have a superior to confess to. I, on the other hand, need to find a confessor. I trust in the need to reveal sinful thoughts. I have lived the apprehension of knowing my thoughts and knowing I am going to reveal them, and just as importantly I know the feeling of release as I have revealed these thoughts and actions. This need for confession, of revealing, is widely understood and used. Twelve-step programs devote three steps (4, 5, and 10) to this effort, a full quarter of the twelve steps in explaining the need for, and providing a process for, this activity.

While I understand the importance of this confession, and have experienced release when I have chosen to stop concealing and then confessed my thoughts and actions to a very well chosen confessor, this is not something that comes easily or naturally for me. As a sinful and sinning Christian person I am only too aware, even now, of the thoughts and actions that I need to shine a light on. I tell many of them to God on a regular basis, but that is easy. I don’t remember God asking the probing questions that help to clean out the infection of these sinful thoughts. It seems I need to sit with another live (and, as said earlier, carefully chosen) person and enter into dialog about what is going on. Only then do I have confidence that I have fully cleaned this wound, and confidence that the wound will heal. This work, then, takes trust and time.

A Note To Anyone Reading:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.
Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.

Jan 31 - Not An Easy Walk

Hear my prayer, O God;*
Do not hide yourself from my petition.
Listen to me and answer me; *
I have no peace, because of my cares.
Psalm 55:1-2

The third step of humility is that we submit to the prioress or abbot in all obedience…
Benedict's Rule, 7:18 (Chittister, Pg. 84)

Rung three [on the ladder of humility] brings us face to face with our struggle for power. It makes us face an authority outside of ourselves.
Chittister, Pg. 85

This struggle of mine for power, with submission, with others that have authority over me? This is not an easy walk, I need help. I need God to hear my prayer. A few years ago I was in a week long program learning more about myself. One of the exercises was an informal instrument to evaluate how competitive I am. When it was introduced I thought it was going to be easy, that it would confirm what a relaxed, laid-back person I was. Wow, was I surprised! I came out on the "competitive" side. Not just a little bit competitive, but way down at the competitive end of "highly competitive". Then I read further, then thought about myself and how I reacted to situations in the past, and came to the understanding (for me) that being competitive often makes it harder to submit to others, to let others take the lead, to admit that I might not have the best (or only) idea for something...

I think about this as we study "humility". Some parts of humility have been easier, such as when I take stock of myself and realize I can no longer lift as many 80 pound bags of lime as I could when I was a teenager working on the farm. It's just a fact, I am not as strong as I once was. Others are harder. "Submitting" to a superior of one sort or another is, at times, not just hard, it is a real struggle. That struggle brings me face-to-face with my need to pray today's psalm...

A Note To Anyone Reading:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.
Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.

Jan 30 - Not Our Own Will

Hear my prayer, O God; *
Give ear to the words of my mouth.
Psalm 54:2

…that we love not our own will nor take pleasure in the satisfaction of our desires…
Benedict's Rule 7:31 (Chittister, Pg. 83)

…I must accept the will of God, knowing that in it lies the fullness of life for me…
Chittister, Pg. 84

I ask God to hear my prayers, one of them being that I accept his will for me. I find this to be an ongoing prayer, one I repeat daily, so it seems. Even as I understand that I am broken and need to keep praying that I accept God's will, I still fall into comparing my inside feelings that I lack holiness, with the outside vision of how I think others are holy. And I keep falling into the trap of thinking if I have the outside trappings of those others my inside turmoil will lift. Can't I just let go and move on?

A Note To Anyone Reading:

This entry is part of a series that is developing as I read The Rule of Benedict, A Spirituality for the 21st Century, Joan Chittister, OSB, Crossroads, 2010. I am offering this both to those at St. George's Episcopal Church, Arlington VA, that may be reading this book and to anyone that is interested.

Unless stated otherwise quotes from St. Benedict's Rule are from the translation in this same book.
Psalms are from The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church, 1979 unless otherwise noted.

Comments are welcome, and encouraged, please use the blog comment feature.