Advent Week 1: Monday - "Grace to Cast Away The Works of Darkness"

This year I have a goal of daily blog entries during Advent. This came about as I was asked to participate in a Parish "Virtual Advent Calendar" at Saint George's Episcopal Church in Arlington VA. You can look for the "2020 Virtual Advent Calendar" link at St. George's Web Site.

I propose (to myself at least) to use the  weekly Advent Collect from The Episcopal Church Book of Common Prayer as inspiration and departure. You will find each weeks Collect posted in the Advent Collects page on my blog site. Remember, I did say inspiration and departure, don't be surprised to find the occasional exception.

On to today's blog entry...

"Almighty God, give us grace to cast away the works of darkness..." Ever since I can remember I have loved the imagery of casting darkness away when we read this collect at our family dinner table. The physical act of striking a match to create light, lighting the first Advent candle, followed by reading the collect as part of family grace at supper brings back fond memories. I remember when Mother or Daddy struck the match, the light bursting forth and the acrid smell of the match wood burning as the candle was lit; then being old enough to have my hand held as I learned to strike the match and light the candle, and, finally, being able to strike the match and light the candle all by myself...

God can strike light in our life just like that match. And, if we allow, God kindles flames in our lives just as the match kindles the flame of the candle. Does this cast away the works of darkness? With prayer, and a lot of help from God, we are well on the way to casting the works of darkness away from our lives...

A Prayer: God, help me to remember the grace of your light in my life, that You will cast away all darkness in my life, if only I will let you. Amen.

Advent Week 1: Sunday - "Anticipation"

No, not the ketchup ad... but the first verse of the Carly Simon song "Anticipation" says it well:

• We can never know about the days to come
• But we think about them anyway
• And I wonder if I'm really with you now
• Or just chasin' after some finer day

Advent is our season of anticipation as we wait for God's arrival here on earth. We are not the first to wait in anticipation. We may sometimes wonder about our waiting, possibly even begin to lose heart. Think about Zechariah in Luke 1:7 "But they had no children, because Elizabeth was barren, and both were getting on in years." Zechariah had been praying, it must be for years, but at that time if I were Zechariah I think I would have given up anticipating having a baby with my wife. God, however, had other plans. God sent an angel saying "Your prayer has been heard... Elizabeth will bear you a son and you will name him John..."

Just as Zechariah and Elizabeth's pregnancy is just the beginning, so this Sunday is just the beginning of our time of anticipation. We don't know if our lives will be upended like Zechariah's, Elizabeth's, Mary's, and Joseph's lives were upended. But this year our lives are upended. We didn't plan on our lives being upended any more than Zecharia expected to hear he was going to be a father, then get told that just because he didn't immediately believe this unbelievable news that he would be mute for the next nine months and eight days...

Let us not be "just chasin' after some finer day", let us spend time with our Lord as we prepare for His arrival on Christmas...

A Prayer: Lord thank you for today, and thank you for the year we have had since the start of last Advent. Help us to accept our lives as they are and give us courage to listen to You. Amen.

Knowing God - Today I Am Comfortable With, Well, "God"

 

Since my last blog entry ( I Know God, Do I Know Jesus? ) I have been thinking more about who I know: God, The Trinity, Our Lord, Jesus, the Holy Ghost, my Heavenly Father (Parent)... Thinking, walking, listening, and simply going on with my day to day life.

I am comfortable with how I call and interact with God. Or rather with You, God. I feel empathy during the Passion, it is like I am there with You. When out walking I have no problem talking with You, we have been talking for as long as I can remember. I cherish our conversations when I was young and knew you as "Fish", my friend and companion in exploring the world. I fall asleep with You now on many nights after quiet prayers, sometimes breathing in my call of "Father", "God", or "Jesus" exhaling "Thank You..." You hold me when I forget, or cry, or am tempted. I know You, I interact with You, I have given, and give, my life to You.

I think questions come from my fear that somehow I am still "doing it wrong", that I somehow fail you. Oh how human of me.

I do have a deep and personal relationship with You. I need not worry about the exact definition of "You." More importantly I need not compare it with labels nor worry what others say I "should" do or call You.

A Prayer:
Lord God, Thank You for being with me today, and all my life. Please help me to never stop asking questions about who You are and what we are together. Please help me to remember You always love me, regardless, of well, anything. And thank You for the faith I have, and help me never let go of that faith. Amen.

I Know God, Do I Know Jesus?

There it is. The question has been posed, not much more to say...

Oh, the backstory? What am I really asking? Is there something more to it?

It sure has been an interesting couple of days with one of those questions. Here we go...

I signed up at Church for the Episcopal Church series Sacred Ground, "a film- and readings-based dialogue series on race, grounded in faith." As I was beginning this adventure and reading some of the introductory material I read this quote:

To some God and Jesus may appeal in a way other than to us: some may come to faith in God and to love, without a conscious attachment to Jesus... They who seek God with all their hearts must, however, some day on their way meet Jesus. -- Heinrich Weinel and Alban G. Widgery, Jesus in the Nineteenth Century and After, p 405 as quoted on Page 1 of Jesus and the Disinherited, Howard Thurman, Copyright 1976, Howard Thurman.

  Later that day I was reading the May 2018 copy of Christianity Today my sister sent me so I could read a very interesting article by Kathleen G. Tallman, when I ran across an article in the Testimony section with the quick headline "Jesus Finds 'Napalm Girl'" (These Bombs Led Me to Christ) where Kim Phuc Phan Thi, The “Napalm Girl” from a famous Vietnam War photo tells her story of coming to faith. While I grew up in an "old school" somewhat High Church Episcopalian family I enjoy hearing/reading testimony and started reading. In her testimony she speaks not just of faith in God, but faith in Jesus.

Both of these talk not just about God, our Lord, the Trinity, but specifically about having a relationship with Jesus. Now, I have heard, and believed at some level, in faith in Jesus for years. I even claim to be "born again" and having a deep relationship with, well, "God". In my last post, Walking with Fish, Talking with God, I quite candidly talk of my personal relationship with God. But a relationship with Jesus? That is quite another thing.

So who am I in relationship with? Sure, there is the first intervention of my life in the winter of 1972 when I finally accepted the invitation to Bible Rap, a weekly bible study sponsored by the Methodist Youth Fellowship in Wellsville NY. As a high-school freshman I had spent any number of basketball game nights out of the house, but quite far away from any basketball games. I was drinking that half-pint or pint of peppermint schnapps I was always able to get a friendly college student to buy for me. But that night I was at Bible Rap and all I remember is Larry (our leader), a Bible passage being read, and something to do with a dollar bill that I couldn't grab ahold of. All of a sudden I realized I could let go, there was a spirit around me, and God was there! See, there it is, God was there. There were a number of times (many of us don't stop drinking the first intervention that happens, nor did I. It was nine years later, while chaperoning a Church youth weekend, that I finally let go, let God, and so far have not had a drink since.) Nor is life perfect. We get married, children are born, parents die, families argue, money runs tight, wars start and stop, jobs are lost (and are found)... No question, God IS in my life!

But this weekend I come face-to-face with the question "Do I have a personal relationship with Jesus?", or is this, as Winel and Widgery state, the time to finally meet Jesus, not just God?

Walking with Fish, Talking with God

My journal is an interesting place. I have kept a journal since an english teacher first had us journal in Junior High School, probably eighth grade when I was thirteen or fourteen. For many years my writing was to some "third party" that might be looking over my shoulder or reading the page many years later when my grandchildren found my journals on some bookshelf... Other times I knew I wrote to myself. Asking about the world, wondering why I am not as good as others, questioning if I am really am doing "God" right, or reminding myself that I am just as important as others... A year or so ago I realized I am talking with God. Actually, in my journal it was more like "Oh, it is You that are with me, looking over my shoulder as I write!"

This made sense as I realized that my childhood friend "Fish" was not imaginary afterall. You see Fish is a Lake sturgeon that stayed with me through thick and thin from some of my first memories of playing outside at three or four until sometime in elementary school. Fish may have walked with me until I realized that I could pray directly to God, perhaps when I realized that Jesus and I share sequential birthdays (mine is Christmas Eve, Jesus' birthday is Christmas day, of course). Sharing sequential birthdays is very precious to me, my Christmas Eve birthday ends when I am at the Christmas service, when Jesus Birthday starts. Just one wonderful two-day holiday! It must be even more precious for those of you that actually share the same birthday! A while ago (maybe when I realized it was God looking over my shoulder) I came to the sure knowledge that Fish was God walking, and talking, with me. Now I realize that talking with God is not something relegated to Prayer time, Church services, or the occasional retreat enlightenment, as wonderful as those all are -- it is something normal, ongoing, daily, "just" a regular occurance between God and me...

I share this for a couple of reasons. First, simply to share a bit more of my spiritual path. This blog is about "Thoughts That Simmered On My Journey" and this is certainly a thought that has been simmering for a bit! But second, to let you know that you, dear reader, are going see posts that are just that, bits of my conversation with God.

A Prayer:

Lord, Thank you for being with me now just as you were when I was young and Fish was my constant companion. Give me the quiet confidence to share all with you and know that you are not only with me, but ready to hold me in your arms, all I need to do is call to you.

Amen.  

The Joy of Where I Am

Potomac River from the River Trail

Today I returned to Great Falls Park on the Potomac River. With the Covid-19 restrictions and staying inside it has been several months since I visited the park and tramped along the river. This morning I experienced a moment of quiet realization that this place is one of the joys of where I am. I expect that I am like many others thinking I spend a great deal of time "taking care of what needs to be taken care of." You know, work and commuting, groceries and meals, washing the clothes, national and local politics, family and friends... But this is not that. This is one of those stable places where I am called to let all that go and just spend time with God.

As Benedictines we are called to stability. Those that join monasteries and take vows have the stability of place in their monastery home, their cloister, and their garden. As an Oblate I don't live within the monastery, but I do have the stability of place and home. The trails and parks along the Potomac and the streams and canals that join the Potomac have become the garden within my extended monastery. Great Falls itself is a one of the centers in this monastery garden. Here I have taken  first hikes with my grandchildren, even before they could walk. Here I took my last hike with my beloved Uncle Father Tom. I ponder the fact I never had the chance to hike with my Dad here. Nearly thirty-five years after I arrived and thirty-four years after Dad died it is a place where I still come to terms with his death, and Death.

Here I have a stable place where God pushes forward just enough so that I stop and listen, where I can let go for a just a bit and where God is "taking care of what needs to be taken care of."

A Prayer: 

God, you are with me. Your name endures forever, Your name continues like the sun. You remain with me as the clouds and rivers come and go. May I remember I am blessed by You, as all are blessed. May I always call You blessed. 

Amen.

Great Falls with Morning Clouds

Flowing Potomac

Mather Gorge

Fountains, Light, and Life

For with you is the fountain of life,

and in your light we see light

Psalm 36:10 (RGP)

Sometimes the fountain is like a smooth stream gently cascading into a quiet pool. Other times the fountain is more like the wild roaring falls after violent storms or the melt-water of a hot sunny spring day. This past week while I have been searching for the smooth streams and quiet pools, life around me is a wild, roaring, stormy torrent. I am whipped by the Black Lives Matter events after yet another black death at the hands of the police, the arguments about wearing masks and opening businesses in the Covid-19 days, the differences in political points of view between our leaders and in our nation.

Yesterday our Church Men's group met via web conference. We spent over an hour checking in and being socially close in the physical distance that is called for at this time. After hearing from all we briefly focused on race in our nation. As twelve men from a reasonably liberal main-line (mostly white) church we had much similarity in our thoughts and opinions, but only when mostly out of time did we realize we had so many thoughts and ideas for next steps, ultimate solutions, and how we think. God's light came as we focused our last few minutes remembering that our Church, Faith, and Lord are here, like the fountain and pool, providing water and light as we move forward.

Pondering the fountain of life, and this week the raging waters of action, despair, and ultimately hope became linked in my mind to the story of Peter walking on the water, becoming frightened, and our Lord's reaching out to Peter and guiding him to the calm of the boat (Matthew 14:28-32, NRSV.) It leaves me asking how often do I start with innocent trust that fails me in the turbulence of life.

A Prayer:

God, thank you for being with me when I don't see the fountain, the light, or the path forward. Help me to trust and remember I can call out, as Peter did as he was sinking in the sea, "Lord, save me!" Amen.