Monday, May 29, 2023

Calls



On the night he was handed over to suffering and death, our Lord Jesus Christ took bread; and when he had given thanks to you, he broke it, and gave it to his disciples and said, “Take, eat: This is my Body, which is given for you. Do this for the remembrance of me” – Eucharistic Prayer A, The Book of Common Prayer, The Episcopal Church

These are the words that are central in every celebration of the Eucharist in the Church. And I silently join in saying these words at every Eucharistic celebration. Well, except for those times that come all too often when my mind wanders from our Lord to the many distractions of our human world. And, again, during the finale of Godspell as Jesus sings “Oh God, I’m bleeding” I again join, to the best of my earthly experience and ability, feeling both the finality of the Jesus last words “Oh God, I’m dead” and the rush of joy as the company continues “Long live God, long live God” returning full circle to the great call “Prepare ye, the way of the Lord”.

To me these are the words, the actions, of God’s call to me. Christ’s life, the last supper, death, and the redemption given to all of us. But what is this call? There was the time, in my thirties, when the joy and power of the Eucharist called me. I asked questions. I looked around me. I wanted to be able to hold the bread, lift the cup of wine, to share them with my fellow Christians… I started the path of discernment to the priesthood. After a number of weeks, it became clear that this was not my Call. But the power of “Call” has always been a center point in my life. While I knew “Call” was there, at the center, I did not know what my Call was, at least beyond what I was (and still am).

But what is “Call”? Something that is “One and Done”? Can you have more than one? Or perhaps is Call – like so much of the rest of life – “Just” part of the journey? Like when Larry E spent what felt like the whole evening talking to just me after my high-school friends had finally convinced me to not drink that one evening in 9th grade and join them at Bible Rap? Or when, during our pre-marital counseling, I asked our priest if I was really ready for the step of Marriage? Or the time, a year or so after that evening Bible Rap, on the Greyhound bus traveling from Rochester to Dansville when, after a weekend of working with other young people in the Regional Youth Council of the Episcopal Diocese of Rochester I just knew that I was giving my life to our Lord and Saviour? When in the dark of the bus in the night I made that personal acknowledgement and commitment that has given me the power to say “Yes” when asked if I am “Born Again”?

As I write this I realize that night on the bus, in the dark, with no other earthly companion, is my Call. It is the time I gave my life to God. No strings attached and no idea of the consequences. My life is God’s.

Not that it keeps me from making all sorts of better or more questionable decisions, or following harder, easier, longer, or sometimes more dangerous routes to where I am today. That ninth-grade evening of choosing Bible Rap over going out and drinking didn’t keep me from drinking. It was another ten years before my wife and I (along with our nine-month-old son) were assistant chaperones for an EYC event. After watching Diary of a Teen-Age Alcoholic, the kids could not relate. But I did. And announced that had been my life. Nor does one call mean we don’t make other vows or promises. I made and keep Marriage Vows. I am a parent, and now a grandparent. I have promised stability and continued learning as a Benedictine Oblate. I am a part of my Church’s Christian Community. These, and other commitments, are each calls. They each require discernment to initiate and commitment to continue. All center around the one, central, Call: That I am God’s and I have given my life to God.

Pentecost 2023: On the occasion of a change in direction for a priest friend


Sunday, December 13, 2020

Advent week 3: Sunday - Letting Go That Which Is Not Working

 

Fall sunrise over the Potomac River

Blogging daily did not work the way I had planned. My family and being a worker in the world is the vocation God calls me to at this time.

The poem "She Let Go" by Safire Rose says it well. And thank you Jenice for the reference in the Saint George's Episcopal Church (Arlington) 2020 Virtual Advent Calendar.

I am not giving up blogging, I am confident new blog entries will occur, I just don't know when. Or how often.

A Prayer: Lord God, Thank You for what I have learned so far this Advent. Thank You for being with me and guiding me. Please continue to help me to do the work You have for me to do. And just as importantly, help me to care for myself appropriately as I continue to grow and live in this confusing,wonderful world. Amen.

Wednesday, December 9, 2020

Advent Week 2: Wednesday - "Give us grace..."

Advent is a time of pausing. In this pause we ponder God's grace in our lives. The Collect last week started "Almighty God, give us grace to cast away the works of darkness, and put on the armor of light..." This week we ask God: "Give us grace to heed their (the prophets) warnings and forsake our sins..."  Implicit is the understanding we cannot do it ourselves, no matter how much we try and how much we wish to do it ourselves, it is only with Your grace, God that we move forward and are closer to you.

A Prayer: Lord, be with me and give me this grace today to cast the works of darkness in my life away, to heed Your call to forsake my sins. Thank you.

Tuesday, December 8, 2020

Advent Week 2: Tuesday - "Jesus Christ our Redeemer"

  • Sing a new song to the LORD,
  • his praise in the assembly of the faithful.
  • Let Israel rejoice in its Maker;
  • let Sion’s children exult in their king.
  • Let them praise his name with dancing,
  • and make music with timbrel and harp.

Psalm 149:1-3 (RGP)

"Our Redeemer? Where?"

All day today I have been caught up at work. My email fills up with requests, status updates, the problems my group needs to solve... This morning (such a long time ago) I read from Psalms, took in some meditations, took a walk and talked to You. But then I jumped right in to the work of the day. I didn't think about the lines above (which I read this morning) or remember to say Thank You when things went well.

Advent is a reminder that yes You ARE here. This Advent I am spending a little more time with You. Truth be known I am not all that excited about that since taking time for You, well, takes time. And all day long there is the answer to the "where" and even the unsaid "how" of my busy day, my trying to take care of it all, and my not letting You in...

Where is our Redeemer? Right here, with us as we laugh, complain, succeed, fail, and just live.

A Prayer: Dear Lord, redeem my life, especially when I try to take over, or am so frustrated I give up, and stay with me always. Thank You. Amen. 

Monday, December 7, 2020

Advent Week 2: Monday - "Your Messengers the prophets preach..."

Forest path with at sunrise


"...your messengers the prophets to preach repentance and prepare the way..."

Being a "typical" mainline church goer and not a Bible scholar, I do not have an encyclopedic knowledge of the prophets in the Bible. Curious, I checked and found eighteen prophets listed under the heading "The Prophetic Books" in my copy of The New Oxford Annotated Bible. But I do keep trying. Today the reading was from Isaiah (Isaiah 5:8-23, specifically.) I read of coming punishment, drunkenness, the inability distinguish right from wrong... In just this short section of one prophet I find so many ways I feel I don't measure up.

Perhaps I am really getting too far in the weeds here. The big picture I see is that You, God, worked hard to provide us with an understanding of how we fail and what You expect of us. We didn't listen to the Prophets so now you sent Your Son Jesus to speak and be among us...

A Prayer: Give me the will to keep following Your path, even when I want to give up. Help me to keep reading regularly, and not lose heart when the path gets steep. Amen.

Sunday, December 6, 2020

Advent Week 2: Sunday - (Listen) - Heed - Forsake

 

Morning clouds behind the black shapes of bare trees

"Give us grace to heed their warnings and forsake our sins..."

To know what the warnings are for me, Lord, I need to listen, not just read, but LISTEN. I cannot heed, I cannot forsake until I understand what the warnings are and what I need to change. Listening is key. I am very good at reading, research, building lists, thinking of all the things I need to stop, or start, or change. I can prioritize them this way and that. I can build a Sunday Top Five, then on Monday prioritize again to get a new Top Five.

I need You, Lord. Not just listening to the latest preaching, wonderful hymns, guidance from those I report to, and listening to those I love... All of these are important and provide good input, but they are not the key. The key for me is to listen to You, to make time every day and listen. You know me, are always there, have been with me since I was born. You Love me and know me. You know what is best for me. When I listen to You, Lord, I must trust, trust in two ways:

  • First: That you DO know what is right
  • Second: That when I hear You incorrectly, or interpret what you say to my advantage (oh yes, I will do both of those) You are right there with me, ready to forgive me and for me try again...
A Prayer: I praise and thank You for my life with you. Please give me the patience to make time, be quiet, and listen for You. Once I have heard You, give me the courage to forsake my sins and do what You have called me to do. Amen.

Saturday, December 5, 2020

Advent Week 1: Saturday - "...when he shall come again in his glorious majesty..."

Random dark and light shapes from a black and white close up of ice on a small flowing stream


Is the time now, Lord? Am I ready? I am so tired, please let this be the end time, and please let me join You in Heaven! Alternatively am I looking at my life with You and hoping, wishing, trusting that You will give me a few more days or years to get myself and my life in order? Maybe the more realistic view is I want to be ready to be with You, God, but if You don't mind there are a few things I am really enjoying right now. As long as I don't look too carefully I can call them enjoyment and relaxation rather than sins. And let's not even mention the sins I just don't have the courage today to face, and certainly am embarrassed to admit to You...

For me Advent is about living life today, preparing to meet You in the end, and remembering that You came among us so I can have life immortal with You.

  • For the Lord God is a sun and shield;
  • he bestows favor and honor.
  • No good thing does the Lord withhold
  • from those who walk uprightly.
  • O Lord of hosts,
  • happy is everyone who trusts in you

Psalm 84:11-12, NRSV