To be formed in God's good time

From Sister Joan Chittister's commentary on the daily Benedictine Rule reading for September 21 we read "A willingness to be formed is the basis of formation", and in Chapter 5 of Benedict's Rule itself (in a portion commonly read on September 22) we read "Such people as these immediately put aside their own concerns, abandon their own will, and lay down whatever they have in hand, leaving it unfinished".

These two passages ask something of me I find quite difficult: To be formed in God's good time. I am quite willing to give up the hard and boring activities required of me at work. I am more than happy to have an excuse to skip the household chores when I think of something "more important" to do.

In Sister Joan's commentary for today (September 22) we read "This voice of God in the demands of community life is not something to be dallied with or contended with or speculated about or debated". So there it is, God calling me when I don't want to listen.

I have been in quite the "tizzy" of not listening (at least some of the time) in the past few weeks, attempting to force my spiritual life or spiritual path into some vision I have, adjusting my support group meetings to match "my" schedule, getting new and more work assignments, joining a photo club. All of this and I catch myself in the troubling habit of comparing how successful I am feeling inside with all of the apparent "success" of others I see, read, or hear about.

God, I DO want to be formed, please give me the willingness to accept your advice, and the patience and insight to do all that is needed, rather than all that I want. Thank You.